Saturday, September 12, 2009

Raven's Challenge 80

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: Charitable, alligator, tribute, drunk, slave, preparation, carrots, mountainside, propeller, lark
For the mini challenge: chisel, worship, suicide, organic, plus

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

In tribute to his recent unbelievable attack on the very heart of Mute Agent 012 was enjoying two days off. Enjoying is not exactly the right word for it.
His wife , still upset over the neighbor’s new fence, kept dreaming up horrible things that were going on behind the fence.
“Wonder ?” she said “ If they were feeding slaves to alligators. How would we know?”
“ You would hear them screaming and all I hear is the sound of a Lark.” He replied.
“ Dad?” His youngest asked “ Why does the propeller on my beanie only turn in one direction and why doesn’t it lift me off the ground?”
“Gears and gravity” Agent 012 answered putting down the chisel he was using trying to get a brick out of the garden wall in preparation for the new brick he wanted to replace it with.
“Dad did you know that Bees were the first suicide bombers. When they sting you they die.” His older son pointed out.
And on an on it went. Inside his head he was screaming so he was happy when his wife sent him to the Mountainside Plus Market to get some organic carrots.
But on the way he was stopped by a group representing The Great Circle of Light Church trying to raise money for a new worship center. He didn’t feel the least bit charitable not even when they told him how many drunks they had saved that month. So they got nothing from him but a very large frown.
His day continued so that on the way home he was almost run over by a truck carrying a load of telephone poles to his neighbor.
Perhaps, tomorrow would be a better day.

The ten word challenge- The Greatest Hunter

Biscay Samson Loomer, or BS Loomer as he was often called, was one of the world’s greatest hunters. He had captured alligators in Florida, goats on the mountainside of Peru, and even the Rainbow Lark , world’s rarest bird. He thought then that he was the freest of men but he had since come to realize that he was a slave to the big money interests. For them he had stuck those poor animals into cages called Zoos not to protect them from extinction but so the men could sell stupid beanies with propellers on top and other junk to the people who came to stare.
It was not long after he came to this realization that he formed a charitable organization dedicated to setting animals free. The organization built a half way house for animals where they could be taken in preparation for being released back into then wild. It is a tribute to that preparation that the releases went as well as they did.
What upset people was how he got the animals to release. It was rumored but never proven that he would throw a big party and get the Zoo staff drunk then using drugged meat and carrots he put the animals to sleep and took them away. In the morning the Zoo was empty and the staff had a terrific hangover. Nobody ever saw him st the party. Nobody ever saw his trucks take the animals away. The little tracker chips they had on some of the animal just ceased to work. The animals vanished. He was after all one of the world’s greatest hunters.

The mini challenge-Obama on Mt. Rushmore

It is the year 2087 and almost all historians are in agreement that Obama was one of the five greatest presidents the country ever had. So great was his impact that after his untimely death there were those who believed he would return and started the Church of the Return where they spent time in the worship of him who changed America.
Every year true believers commit suicide on his grave which is supposed to hasten his return.
But I’m not a believer . In fact at this moment I hate the guy and his big ears. You see it’s my job to chisel his image on Mt. Rushmore. He is being added to the other four great Presidents.
At first I was really happy. To be picked was an honor plus the pay was great. That all organic stuff my wife eats doesn’t come cheap you know.
Things were going really well. It really was beginning to look like him. We had chiseled away a lot of rock when we hit that really hard stuff just below one of his big ears. I decided to use a little dynamite to remove it. Just a little, mind you, not very much.
The explosion went off and there went an ear. Obama’s big ear tumbling down the mountain. I’m ruined. There is no way to repair this. You can’t super glue back a rock ear that size.
I hate the guy.
I just hate the guy.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.


Melli said...

??? I don't understand! As DAYS go, it seems like this is one of Agent 012's BETTER ones... what's his gripe?

That BS is a great hunter INDEED!

LOL! Well... at least the stone mason has a LEGITIMATE reason to HATE Obama! hahahaha....

Raven said...

Poor Agent 012... His good days are almost as bad as his bad days. Love the reformed hunter and what a tragedy it would be to make a mistake on Mt. Rushmore. Whew. you really never would live that down.

Richard said...

Loved how 012 and his neighbors seem to be coming to a head. Is the great hunter his neighbor? Will 012 be woken up by the cries of wild beasts from his neighbor's back yard?

And most importantly, where in the year 2087 can one acquire 1000 gallons of super glue?

Reston Friends! said...

It seems as though 012 shouldn't take days "off"...wonder about those telephone poles?

The second -- the older I get the more saddened I am by zoos. It seems an affront to the animals to keep them there, especially really big animals like Elephants...and same with the sea creatures in the aquariums and sea world type places.

Finally, Borglum move over!

Well done, Dr. John

Argent said...

Telephone poles to Agent 012's neighbours? Oh-oh! Massively creative with the words as usual - "feeding slaves to alligators"!

Loved The Greatest Hunter story and pleased to see the animals get out.

And the third one had me laughing out loud - the image of a giant ear falling down the mountainside!

Akelamalu said...

Poor Agent 012,things just don't go his way do they?

Yay for The Great Hunter!

Is chopping off Pres Obama's ear a capital offence? LOL

Anonymous said...

I don't get what was wrong with Agent 012. Seems to me like he had some good advice from the sons. And hmmm more telephone poles...he didn't pick up on that? His mind must have been elswhere :) I wonder if the ear can't be glued back on because of the ego?

DawnTreader said...

Agent 012 seems to be a workaholic. And maybe he should listen to his wife. Who knows, there might be a half way house for alligators on the other side of that fence.

Stephen said...

Agent 012 should really pay more attention to what's going on behind his neighbor's fence, or he may end up having a really bad day. In the second story, it's good that the great hunter has decided to help animals instead. In the third story, the worker might try to make a hidden concrete and steel infrastructure to hold the ear on. It might need maintenance after ice gets in the seams and freezes, but he could get a steady job out of it that way. I liked all the stories, but I probably liked the one about the hunter the best.

Stephen from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA

CJ said...

Agent 012 can't get a break. Bad day on the job, annoying people at home. Now, for what in the world would his neighbor be needing a truckload of telephone poles?

I can't help but think there is some way to make a simulated-rock ear.

I'm very late in commenting this week. Sorry! My Wordzzle is HERE.