Food Idioms

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts these picture idioms.

The Last Straw

When one small burden after another creates an unbearable situation, the last straw is the last small burden that one can take.

Can't Cut the Mustard

Someone who isn't adequate enough to compete or participate is said not to be able to cut the mustard.

** No mustard bottles were in any way injured when making this picture.

Raven's Challenge 82

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be:Tibetan sky, symbols, won’t you come home Bill Baily, shadow figures, brain cortex, practice makes perfect, life, start of school, lavender, chow down
And for the mini: mental hospital, falling leaves, apple cider, packing crates, clues

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

For three days Agent 012 had lived the life the part of a CEO of a big company. On the wall behind his desk was the company motto “ Clean as a Tibetan sky”. The engine he supposedly manufactured put out no C02 and thus would change everything. Of course there was no such engine it was all part of a Agency trap. But as of this moment he didn’t have any clues as to the identity of the CEO killer or killers. They remained shadow figures lurking somewhere in the back of Agent 012’s mind. In the belief that practice makes perfect he went over again all they knew about the killings. One CEO had been shot, one cut in half with a chain saw and put in two packing crates, one had a hot wire pushed into his brain cortex, one was stabbed and left to be covered by falling leaves, and one was drowned in apple cider , loaded in a lavender barrel and delivered to a mental hospital. As he thought about the list Agent 012 felt just a twinge of fear.
It was time to eat or as his son referred to it chow down time so Agent 012 took the elevator to the first floor cafeteria . In the elevator “won’t you come home Bill Baily” was playing on the elevator music system. Suddenly the elevator stopped on the fourth floor when the door opened a man with a gun was standing there and our Agent had the same feeling he used to get at the start of school. On the man’s wrist was a bracelet of symbols with a miniature chain saw, cider keg, packing crate, gun, and leaf.
Agent 012 had a feeling this was not going to be his day.

The ten word challenge- Good Song

It was just a week before the start of school when the problems started. Bart had signed on as a judge of the local Art Explosion and was looking at a canvas called “Tibetan Sky” done in shades of lavender as it began. First he heard somebody singing “ Won’t you come home again Bill Baily” but when he commented on it the other judges looked at him as if was insane. Then he saw the shadow figures in the paintings and told Anna they must be life symbols. Anna became worried as she saw no such figures.
When it came time to chow down Bart’s friends from the Practice Makes Perfect Art Group talked to him about seeing a Doctor.
At first he resisted but they pushed and finally he went. They discovered he had a marble size tumor pressing on his brain cortex. Within the week surgery was performed and the tumor removed. His friends had saved his life.
He says he is thankful for their intervention but he does sort of miss that rendition of “ Won’t you come home again”.

The mini challenge- The Great Cider Robbery

It was Fall and time for kids to play in the falling leaves but the famous Detective Josh Armourall was busy looking for clues. He had checked the apple cider jug for fingerprints but there weren’t any. He looked with great care at the packing crates that had been smashed open to get at the jugs. They were of no real value either. Josh felt horrible as it looked like the apple cider thieves might get away with a perfect crime. He who had solved the most complicated of murders was now stumped by a minor robbery at a mental hospital.
He was there by invitation of his good friend Oliver who was the director of the place. He thought it would be an easy crime to solve just one walk through the patient rooms until he smelled the cider but it hadn’t worked that way. He had gone through every room and hadn’t smelled one drop of cider. Now he was being summoned on the loudspeaker to the cafeteria. He hated to go and report he had found nothing.
Entering the cafeteria he saw a pile of cider jugs and a big sign that said “ Happy Birthday Josh”.
It was the only way his friend could get him to come to the party.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

55-Enslav

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

Enslaved

It put him down.
It kept him down.
He felt oppressed.
He tried to right the situation
He tried to set himself and others free.
He knew that some had succeeded.
Some had broken loose.
He saw them on TV in their freedom.
He was forever doomed to be held down.
He couldn't escape

Gravity

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty fourth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot had stopped laughing .
In fact he was crying.
He could not ride a six inch horse.
He could ride a large frog, a giraffe, and perhaps a snail but not a six inch horse.
The incompetent wizard Moreless waved his hand again.
Puff. The real horse was back.
And laughter returned to Laughsalot..

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly's Words

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:
obstrigillate ;ossifragant ;mariturient

It had been four days since the body of investment broker Hudson Smith was found out at Detective Mallory’s good friend Josh Brannigan’s place. Now somebody called the DA’s office and said they saw Josh’s truck on the road out to the house. The DA ordered Detective Mallory to arrest him, now! Mallory could find no good reason to obstrigillate this direct order and so he went himself to arrest his friend. By this time, however, he was convinced Josh was not the Phalarae Killer but had clearly been framed.
He found Josh in the kitchen making coffee and filled him in on what had happened and that he had to arrest him. But first they sat down together over a cup of coffee while Josh explained to Mallory where he had been. It seems that a mariturient lady named Judith had set her sights on Josh and was practically stalking him. So he got in the truck and went North to his favorite secret fishing spot to escape her. He was alone the entire time and thus was clearly without an alibi. There was no neighbor to see what day or what time he left. He hadn’t stopped anywhere. It was not looking at all good for him.
After arresting Josh , Mallory turned to the coroner’s report on the latest victim. It seems he had been hit an ossifragant blow with some kind of club, possibly a baseball bat. That was different from the other two. Again the victim was shot and no bullet was found. It was almost certain he was shot somewhere else and dumped in Josh’s living room.
Nothing about this case made any sense. There seemed to be no relationship between the victims. They were all shot and then their bodies dumped in a different location. The killer always left deliberate footprints. And why staple phalares to their heads.? And the most confusing of all why frame Josh? He just couldn’t put the pieces together,
Now he was going to interview this Judith person.
To be continued next Thursday

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel.

The Wedding

The sound of obrumpent balloons fills the air
But none of the happy revelers seem to care
The mariturient lady on their street
Finally an eligible man did meet.
No need now to obstrigillate her charms
To announce her coming with alarms
Her ossifragant brother no more to fear
She had her victim that was clear
They hoped a uxorious husband he’d make
As they danced around the wedding cake


Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Idioms with fingers

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts

Let me now finger two idioms which prove what lengths I go to for these things.

Cross Your Fingers:

To hope that something happens the way you want it to.


Finger lickin' good:
If something tastes really special it is said to be " Finger Licking Good"

The Magic Frog

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Addie looked down at the green garden frog.
She alone knew it was magic. If she had told anyone they might have thought she was crazy but she wasn’t. The frog really was magic. It could and would grant her every wish.
It was just last year that she had deciphered the writings on the old stone , her being an archeologist by profession. It had lead her to canoe down a peaceful Canadian river in the far North of Canada watching for that special landmark. There deep in the woods she found the shrine of the Wood Nymph and the frog. How many centuries it had been there she had no idea. Who put it there was much clearer. A group of Celts had somehow made it to Canada centuries ago. They possessed all the powers of the ancient Celtic religion and had infused them into the shrine and the frog. Of this she had no doubt.
And now the frog was hers.
Last night she had dined in the most expensive restaurant in New York City. The desert was unbelievable. The rich certainly lived well. But she had enjoyed the looked on the waiter’s face even more as he brought the bill and she slowly disappeared before him. He would have an interesting story to tell. The frog could be fun.
She even had pictures. When she went out West to the rodeo she had a nice tourist take her picture with a cactus. That and the picture she took of the rodeo was evidence of what the frog could do.

She supposed she should use it for good. She should feed the poor or something like that. But how great was its power? How much could it do? Then there was the warning on the stone that payment would be due. What kind of payment and when would it be collected? She really couldn’t answer these questions.
So she stopped using the frog. She had all that power and was afraid to use it. The frog was no longer fun.
So if your going along a nice street and see an old lady taking to a big green garden frog she’s not crazy she’s just scared. Grab the frog and run. But remember there is a payment due.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 81

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: dangerous, engine, sullenly, bespoke, evergreen, bauble, medicine, freight, destined, tinsel

And for the mini: carbon, feelers, outright, ballet, fizzing

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 felt important in his new bespoke suit and fancy New York office . He was playing the part of a CEO of a new company that was manufacturing an engine that ran on evergreen needles but produced no carbon dioxide emissions. According to the company brochure the engine was destined outright to replace gas engines, the source of dangerous C02.
It was not all wonderful, however, as part of his cover last night Agent 012 had to go to the Tinsel Town Ballet and hated every minute of it. Afterward he took the usual fizzing medicine for his headache but it didn’t live up to its slogan “ Pop Pop Fizz Fizz Oh what a relief it is”. This morning he still had a headache as he read the E-mail from Jeffery Feelers who was asking for a prototype of the new engine to be sent to him by freight. This would be difficult since the engine didn’t exist.
Across town a man commented sullenly to himself and played with the baubles on his wrist bracelet, one for each CEO he had killed. He was planning his next killing and the target was Agent 012.
Could this be the end of Agent 012?
Will this be his last horrible day?

The ten word challenge- The Accident

Sullenly Carlo Bespoke prepared to go into court. His lawyer told him to lighten up, smile at the judge and stick to his story that hitting the prize evergreen was an accident. He was sorry the neighbor was so upset he needed expensive medicine to calm down. He had offered to pay for the tree and the freight to have a new one shipped in. He knew that the tree was destined to be the center of the neighbor’s Christmas yard display and would have been covered by baubles and tinsel. He felt really bad about that, but his engine had been damaged as well and the repairs were expensive.
His neighbor said that Carlo was a dangerous man and should be punished to the full extent of the law.
The judge ordered Carlo to pay restitution and court costs but felt he was repentant and truly sorry so that was punishment enough.
Carlo fingered the baubles on his wrist bracelet and thanked the judge.

The mini challenge-CEO Killer

Last night he had gone to the ballet. It was a superb blending of traditional ballet and today’s science fiction. He loved the fizzing noises in the background as they added so much to the futuristic feeling. When those alien feelers dropped from above he knew it was outright perfect. But he had to remember that it was not the ballet but his latest target he had gone to watch. If this CEO was to become one of his baubles then he needed to know all that he could about him. Then he would decided how to kill him. He could put carbon monoxide in the ventilation system. That was quick and easy but no fun at all. He really liked to see them die.
If he didn’t have to go to court earlier today the job might already be done. There , of course, was no rush as he only had to please himself. He quit being a killer for hire years ago.
He just hated CEOs. He was doing the world a favor by getting rid of them.
He made his living now as a lawyer defending idiots like that Carlos fellow who had deliberately smashed his neighbor’s prize tree.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

A Foul Story

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

A Foul Story

The place was filled with foul language.

It hurt his very very sensitive ears.

He really didn't want to be there but his best friend had asked him as a personal favor.

So here he was listening to the foul language and being egged on.

But then what else would you expect

chickens to speak?

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty third chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

The Wizard Moreless waved his hand over the Snail.
There was puff of smoke.
Where the snail had been there was now a horse.
Not a frog, not a giraffe, not a snail but a horse.
It even looked like a horse.
The only problem was that this real horse was only six inches high.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly's Trophaeal Words

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:
quibbleism; obrumpent; & temeration

Detective Clint Mallory , was obrumpent with joy that the body was not that of his good friend Josh even though it had been found in the living room of Josh’s house. Slowly, however that joy turned to fear and sadness as he studied the crime scene. First one of the deputies found a box of phalaraes hidden in a back closet under a pile of other boxes. Mallory was almost certain those were the stolen phalaraes but he still needed the museum to examine them and confirm that they were indeed the ones. Then they found the muddy boots in the basement that matched the footprints coming and going from the house. He had little doubt they would also match the stibograms from the other murders. There was no sign of forced entry into the house. It was beginning to look like Josh could be the Phalarae killer.
There were things that bothered Detective Mallory. There were no fingerprints on the box of phalares. Why walk out in the boots and then put them back in the basement?
Mallory felt that everything was too neat and tidy and looked to him like a frame up. The DA , however, was sure they had enough evidence and told Mallory to stop his quibbleism and go arrest the man.
So Mallory sent detectives out to find Josh who seemed to have just disappeared. They brought in the state police tracking dogs but they found no trail. His truck was gone.
Poor Mallory sat in his office and remembered promising Josh’s mother as she was dying that he would watch over Josh. He was afraid the temeration of those promises was at hand.

To be continued next Thursday.

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel.

Broken Vows

Temerations are such sad things
Crying through the valley rings
People once obrumpent with pride
Now just sat as their love died
Quibbleism used to hide it all
They pretend there is no fall.
A phalarae was made for them
Wilted flower on crooked stem
Hitonious has been their fate
Their life now was viliorate

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Colorful Idioms

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts A Thousand Words In Idioms

Here are two colorful idioms

Red Tape

the filling out of seemingly unnecessary paperwork, obtaining of unnecessary licenses, having multiple people or committees approve a decision and various low-level rules that make conducting one's affairs slower, more difficult, or both.

Seeing Red

to become very angry When he laughed in my face, I just saw red.

Raven's Challenge 80

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: Charitable, alligator, tribute, drunk, slave, preparation, carrots, mountainside, propeller, lark
For the mini challenge: chisel, worship, suicide, organic, plus

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

In tribute to his recent unbelievable attack on the very heart of Mute Agent 012 was enjoying two days off. Enjoying is not exactly the right word for it.
His wife , still upset over the neighbor’s new fence, kept dreaming up horrible things that were going on behind the fence.
“Wonder ?” she said “ If they were feeding slaves to alligators. How would we know?”
“ You would hear them screaming and all I hear is the sound of a Lark.” He replied.
“ Dad?” His youngest asked “ Why does the propeller on my beanie only turn in one direction and why doesn’t it lift me off the ground?”
“Gears and gravity” Agent 012 answered putting down the chisel he was using trying to get a brick out of the garden wall in preparation for the new brick he wanted to replace it with.
“Dad did you know that Bees were the first suicide bombers. When they sting you they die.” His older son pointed out.
And on an on it went. Inside his head he was screaming so he was happy when his wife sent him to the Mountainside Plus Market to get some organic carrots.
But on the way he was stopped by a group representing The Great Circle of Light Church trying to raise money for a new worship center. He didn’t feel the least bit charitable not even when they told him how many drunks they had saved that month. So they got nothing from him but a very large frown.
His day continued so that on the way home he was almost run over by a truck carrying a load of telephone poles to his neighbor.
Perhaps, tomorrow would be a better day.

The ten word challenge- The Greatest Hunter

Biscay Samson Loomer, or BS Loomer as he was often called, was one of the world’s greatest hunters. He had captured alligators in Florida, goats on the mountainside of Peru, and even the Rainbow Lark , world’s rarest bird. He thought then that he was the freest of men but he had since come to realize that he was a slave to the big money interests. For them he had stuck those poor animals into cages called Zoos not to protect them from extinction but so the men could sell stupid beanies with propellers on top and other junk to the people who came to stare.
It was not long after he came to this realization that he formed a charitable organization dedicated to setting animals free. The organization built a half way house for animals where they could be taken in preparation for being released back into then wild. It is a tribute to that preparation that the releases went as well as they did.
What upset people was how he got the animals to release. It was rumored but never proven that he would throw a big party and get the Zoo staff drunk then using drugged meat and carrots he put the animals to sleep and took them away. In the morning the Zoo was empty and the staff had a terrific hangover. Nobody ever saw him st the party. Nobody ever saw his trucks take the animals away. The little tracker chips they had on some of the animal just ceased to work. The animals vanished. He was after all one of the world’s greatest hunters.

The mini challenge-Obama on Mt. Rushmore

It is the year 2087 and almost all historians are in agreement that Obama was one of the five greatest presidents the country ever had. So great was his impact that after his untimely death there were those who believed he would return and started the Church of the Return where they spent time in the worship of him who changed America.
Every year true believers commit suicide on his grave which is supposed to hasten his return.
But I’m not a believer . In fact at this moment I hate the guy and his big ears. You see it’s my job to chisel his image on Mt. Rushmore. He is being added to the other four great Presidents.
At first I was really happy. To be picked was an honor plus the pay was great. That all organic stuff my wife eats doesn’t come cheap you know.
Things were going really well. It really was beginning to look like him. We had chiseled away a lot of rock when we hit that really hard stuff just below one of his big ears. I decided to use a little dynamite to remove it. Just a little, mind you, not very much.
The explosion went off and there went an ear. Obama’s big ear tumbling down the mountain. I’m ruined. There is no way to repair this. You can’t super glue back a rock ear that size.
I hate the guy.
I just hate the guy.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

squirm

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

A Real Cad

He was not a nice man.

He loved to see people squirm.
He really did.
He made smart remarks.

He courted real ladies.
He lead them on.

They thought he really loved them.


Then he broke their hearts.




The big town clock fell on him.

Which proves the old saying.

Time wounds all heels.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty second chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot loved his giraffe and considered looking for another Kingdom.
He heard King Arthur was hiring at Camelot.
But he felt sorry for Underwear who didn't have many knights left at his table.
Thus Wizard Moreless spent all night trying to bring back a horse but now had a giant snail by the tail.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly's Fantastic Words

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:
ponask; stiricide; & ruricolous



Detective Mallory now knew what the last phalerae meant. The one that was stapled to the head of the banker. A Roman soldier who took more than his fair share of the loot was forced to wear it. He would then be shunned by the other soldiers and often simply end up dead. Somebody saw our banker as a crook.
Mallory was not so lucky on trying to find out who had purchased the phalaraes. It seems a large crate of phalaraes on the way to the museum had just disappeared. There was no real market for them so the director had assumed they would show up in a day or two. But they hadn’t. It looked like the Phalarae Killer was also a Phalarae Robber.
If Mallory could solve one crime he would probably solve the other.
Mallory was in his office looking at the pictures and stibograms on what he called his crime board trying to see some clue that had escaped his attention when the call came. There had been another murder , this one out at the Josh Brannigan place. As he got in his car he hoped it wasn’t Josh. Josh was one of Mallory’s oldest friends. He and Josh often hunted together and just last fall they had ponasked some partridge in Josh‘s back yard. It was Josh who had , despite his hatred for the city , come in and helped Mallory get the ice off his roof because of a stiricide problem. Josh hated the city and loved the ruricolous life and so he lived alone way out in the country. He had no neighbors and was just too trusting a guy. An easy target for some robber .
Arriving at the little house Mallory saw the footprints and he knew before he saw the body what would be stapled to the victim's head. He ordered the usual stibograms made but had no doubt they would match the one’s on the evidence board.
Entering the house he saw the body with the phalarae neatly stapled to it’s forehead. But by some miracle it wasn’t Josh. Mallory could have shouted it out . It wasn’t Josh.
To be continued next Thursday.

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.

The Good Life

Ruricolous life good for a retreat
Not a style one wants to repeat
Who would ponask a bird
Some strange country nerd.
Give me the city life
With all of its inherent strife.
I’ll order my bird from KFC
Like stiricide you can’t stop me.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Handy Idioms

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts A Thousand Words In Idioms.

Here are two very handy idioms.

Hand to mouth

Someone who's living from hand to mouth, is very poor and needs the little money they have coming in to cover their expenses.

Hand in glove

If people are hand in glove, they have an extremely close relationship.

THorton Needs Help

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Thorton P Biapple III was sure he was going to die. He had not planned on dying. He just wanted to clear his head so he had taken the canoe and headed up to the lake.
He knew he should have waited and gotten some help but he really wanted to be alone. He had ported that canoe much further in the past, by himself, without any trouble. Of course he didn’t know this lake or this path but it didn’t look long on the map. Everything would have been fine if he hadn’t tripped on that cussed squirrel.
Animals were supposed to be your friend . They weren’t supposed to trip you. And a squirrel when he had given them all those nuts over the years. This is the way they say thanks.
As he lay under the canoe he knew from the pain his leg was broken, maybe both legs. He was going to die there. He just knew it. From where he lay he could see two beautiful flowers
and they seemed to add to his pain. Maybe an arm was broken too and possibly his back.
He knew he was beginning to hallucinate because he could smell peanut butter cookies cooking.
Peanut butter cookies out here on a path who would cook peanut butter cookies?
He strained his neck as far to the left as he could but all he saw was the sky. He wondered if the clouds indicated an approaching storm.
He could end up being drowned. With his broken legs, arm and back he could never escape the water.
Now he trained his neck to the right and what he saw assured him he was hallucinating . There as big as life and as if it was real was sign that said Worms.
Worms , a sign for worms on a wilderness trail. It just didn’t happen. He knew it didn’t. What next? A dragon coming to eat him? A black hole in space? Black Adam saying shazam?
Suddenly a voice cut through it all.” Thorton quit fooling around and get the camping display up. Get out from under that canoe. If you father didn’t own Biapples Sports Kingdom I’d fire you.”
The evil Dr. Silvania had found him and was making him stand on his broken legs and work with his broken arm. It was a cruel world indeed.

The dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.