Raven's Challenge 93

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: spaghetti, woe is me, mythology, avarice, windy, pathetic, paper towels, water, all my children, books
And for the mini: best deals of the week, Nobel Peace Prize, sleep deprived, cauliflower, practice

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 knew he was stuck with his windy mother-in-law until Christmas. Every day she told him what a pathetic loser he was. She had wanted her very special daughter to marry a Nobel Peace Prize winner not some bookkeeper who walked around like he was sleep deprived. The fact that she despised him did not stop her from giving him things to do for her. Today she had taken the paper and marked out the best deals of the week. She sent him out to buy spaghetti, paper towels, bottled water and cauliflower. Agent 012 hated cauliflower but she made it a practice of having her daughter cook meals he didn’t like.
The only respite the poor guy got was the hour in which she watched the soap : “All My Children” . She called it Twenty First Century mythology where the avarice and basic evil of modern man were exposed better than in any books.
Poor Agent 012 thought “ Woe is me! Where is a really good criminal when you need one”
This was not ending as a good year for him.

The ten word challenge
Woe is Me

Arvid Edward Noprize was a writer but not a very successful one. He had written three books but only one got published That one did not sell well. There was really no market for a book about the mythology of the modern soap as illustrated by the ABC program “ All My Children”. In his woe is me mode he blamed the publishing company and its pathetic attempts at publicity for its failure.
He held in his hand his fourth novel. This one was a real departure from his usual writing. It was a murder mystery entitled “ The Spaghetti Water Mystery”. In it his villain figures out how to commit the perfect murder using paper towels and the water that had been used to cook spaghetti. His killer is caught only because of his avarice and the fact that it was a windy day.
His publisher is excited and thinks this one might make the Book of the Month Club. But first he needs to fix a few things. As he thumbs through the manuscript and sees all the things underlined in red he realizes that those few things are going to take a long time.

The mini challenge
Woe is Me No More

The Book of the Month Award was not exactly the Nobel Peace Prize but to him it was even better. It meant that all those sleep deprived nights were finally paying off. He had hoped to reach this pinnacle with the first book in the series. But it fell short and was now probably part of the best deals of the week in a hundred bookstores. You know the practice. All the poor lost books are thrown into one big markdown bin for one last chance to get sold.
But his last book in the vegetable mystery series, “ The Cauliflower Killer” made it to the top. It would be a long time before it ended up in the bin. In fact some stores will resurrect the other two and sell them side by side with this one. There is nothing that succeeds like success.


Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash 55-Rats

Flash Fiction 55

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55. Here is today's:

The poor postal worker found vermin among the packages on the large porcelain basin where the packages were sorted.

That was early Tuesday morning.
The exterminator came on Thursday
but there wasn't an animal to be found.
They were very confused until they remembered the old saying that

rats will always leave a shipping sink.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty seventh chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Looking around and seeing nobody Sir Laughsalot said:
" Robert I need a favor"
The big dragon responded:
" Well I owe you one"
"You do indeed,. I need an already dead dragon".
"You want me to get you an already dead dragon?"
"Right"
" I'll wait three hills over, North".
"Okay!" and the big dragon flew off.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 40

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story
The 3WT #40 words will be: lubency; adimpleate; pamphagous
Other Quilly word definitions HERE.


lubency :(Noun) willingness; pleasure
Adimpleate (Verb). to fill up
Pamphagous-( Adj) Omnivorous.-eating everything; all-consuming

Orville Tearman took his lubency where he could find it. There certainly wasn’t much lubency in his life these days.This morning he went to the Public Library and checked out every book they had on teterrimous monsters. Now he was adimpleating on information concerning all monsters. His obsession with monsters had become a pamphagous desire to learn all he could.
For Orville was sure that a monster was invigilating him like a proctor invigilating an exam. He wanted to be careful not to misqueme the monster and cause him to attack. He worried most when he was lying murklins in his bed at night. Then he was sure he could see the monster with its horrible brochity and that one big sharp tooth. He knew it had ossifragant power. Of course, that might have been just a hitonious dream or nightmare. But he was afraid the monster was trying to kill him. The stiricide yesterday that almost hit him was no accident. He was sure the monster pushed that ice. Now he was afraid to leave the house. The momster had turned him into a niddering. His friends had stopped visiting they could no longer stand the vultuous visage which was his face.
He searched now for a spell, a word, a substance that would help him obstrigillate or even drive away the monster.
In the last book he read he found these words:
All Monsters rise from within us.
They belong to us.
We must learn to live with them.
They will not go away.
Somehow that information put an operiment on his monster and sent it back inside of him.
If it was his he could control it. He was free at last.
They found him the next day ripped to shreds. The authorities never could figure out what had the power to do that.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Writer of Poems

The lubency of the poem writer
Was in making the world brighter
The pamphagous public wanted more
Even though his arm was sore
He adimpleated on bread and grapes
Food better fit for old line apes
And so he wrote from Dawn till night
Wanting to get things just right

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Boring

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.

Fredrico Armlength was bored. He was really bored.
When he set his sights on becoming one of the richest men in the world he hadn't realized how boring it would be. He would tell you it is boring being horribly rich.
He, of course had his own jet. What rich man doesn't have his own jet.
Thus he could fly anywhere he wanted to fly. But he had already done that . In fact he had visited some of those places more than once.
He owned the biggest , most modern building in all of Claptrapet, North Carolina.
In fact he owned the only modern building in Claptrapet but even it was boring. It had been designed by Pavo Hinski the great Finnish architect . It was supposed to be his greatest work. But it was boring.
He had paid for an archeological dig in the great Southwest that found and now preserved an ancient Indian temple.
People from all over the world flocked to see it. But now , to him, it was just boring.
He missed the old days. Back when he ws struggling to get ahead. He had worked many a company picnic , making just the right friends to lift him toward his goal
Those were exciting days. He wasn't bored then.
But now he either had everything or he could buy it. If he wanted some special vase or any other artifact he could send someone to get it. '
He could even pay to have it stolen if he wanted to. But it was boring. There was no challenge.
And he was alone, really alone. He had stepped on or over his friends on the way to the top. His wife and children had left him. She didn't even want alimony. She kept saying she wanted him back, the way he used to be.
He would sit down to eat alone again tonight.
He could , of course , pay people to come an eat with him. He could just invite the greedy ones.But they weren't there for him. They were there for the money.
He was alone and he was bored.
That's when he decided he didn't have to go on like that. He called in his top legal staff and had them create the Armlength Foundation. It would give money to the hungry of the world. He then transferred all his money to the Foundation and arranged for all of his profits from his business enterprises to go to the foundation. Then he disappeared.
He got himself a job in some small town somewhere. He started out now with new goals. He did not aim to be rich but instead he aimed to get his wife back and to earn new friends.
It would not be easy but it sure wouldn't be boring.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 92

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: sugar, mortgage, logical, roller skates, outlandish, Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, cumberbund, unexpected, photo album, scarecrow
And for the mini: tomatoes, turtles, basement apartment, circumference, make my day

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Poor Agent 012 was having the worst vacation of his life. The unexpected visit of his mother-in-law with her outlandish cat was making him wish they had put in that basement apartment he and his wife had talked about. Then he would have someplace to go and hide instead of having to be around her all day long. He would even be able to watch football which she says is an evil game where grown men hurt each other, not fit for her grandchildren. Further she felt he should be taking the boys out on roller skates instead of letting them play those vile video games She did watch television, though, as she parked herself in front of the TV all day long. He has seen the Macy’s add “ Yes Virginia , there is a Santa Claus” so many times that the little girl almost feels like one of the family.
She insists on hauling out the photo album from his wedding and pointing out the picture of him in his cumberbund and saying he looked like a scarecrow. Then she goes through the whole album in no logical order pointing out everything that was wrong with the wedding. The main thing that was wrong, of course, is that he was the groom.
At this point she has eaten all the chocolate turtles and gone through a ten pound bag of sugar. The sugar was used in coffee that ended up being more sugar than coffee and in breakfast cereal where the sugar was equal to or greater than the cereal.
She was pestering him to refinance his mortgage with the Small Circumference Mortgage Co. because she said he could save thousands every year.
At this point he was sitting in the kitchen playing with the tomatoes and thinking what a nice sound they would make as they hit her and squished all over. He lined her up in his sights and thought” Come on old lady make my day.”

It looked like it would be some time before he had a great day.

The ten word challenge-Memories

The Macy’s Add “ Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”, was playing in the background as he added just a little sugar to his afternoon coffee, He opened the old photo album with its many memories. There was his brother Jeffry in his cumberbund. He hadn’t looked that good since the wedding.
There he was on roller skates. He hadn’t done that for years. If he was to try that now he would fall in the most outlandish way. It was just logical to assume he would.
There was the picture of he and Nancy burning the mortgage when the house was fully theirs. That picture was made possible by the unexpected big win he had on a lottery ticket.
He was a good looking man in those days. Now he looked like a scarecrow his body ravaged by the cancer and the treatment.
But he had his album and he had his memories . They couldn’t take those away.

The mini challenge- Make My Day

Someone had broken the circumference of the area protected by his silent burglar alarm in his little basement apartment. From the bedroom he could hear him looking through things. He moved quietly to the open doorway. The man had the box of chocolate turtles his granddaughter had brought him earlier that day in one hand and the precious photo album in the other. “ Come on sucker” he thought” move a little further over and make my day. “
As if in response the crook moved and he fired. It caught him full in the face. There was red everywhere as the crook went down in a heap.
He called 911 and waited for the police.
“ Why did you shoot him” they asked?
“He was taking my most precious possession” he responded.
The police man shook his head and said “ Not a good reason to kill a man”.
He laughed and said .” This gun fires a mean tomato but I doubt it killed him. Wake him up, wipe him off, and get him out of here.”
There was no way anyone was going to take his album and his memories away.


Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash Fiction 55

Flash Fiction 55

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55. Here is today's:



He bought the most expensive car he could afford.
It had every known bell and whistle.
He was so very proud and loved to show it off.
He loved the looks he got while driving it.
But the day came when he drove his car into a tree
and found out how the

Mercedes bends.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty sixth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot stood armed with a burlap bag.
The dragon looked down at Laughsalot, opened its mouth, and licked its lips.
At the moment Laugsalot threw the burlap bag into the dragon's mouth.
The dragon's flame went out.
Sir Laughsalot pulled his Laughing Sword and advanced toward the dragon.
The dragon was no longer bored.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 39

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story

The 3WT #39 words will be: yelve, patration, aeipathy

Yelve- 1. (obsolete) A fork used to carry dung; such a fork used as a garden tool.
patration - -(n) perfection or completion of something
Aeipathy- 1. A continued passion; an unyielding disease.


He found Old Bettsy in her garden which was her aeipathy and had always been. He told her that the patration of the law suit meant she would have to leave the home she loved and the bank would take control of it. She responded by taking her yelve which she was using to fertilize the garden and throwing the contents at him. It stained the front of his new suit and with a maleolent stain.
“Please” he said “ I’m just the messenger. It isn’t my fault you took out a mortgage you can’t pay.
She looked at him and began to cry.
There was no way that he could obarmate himself against that. He felt her pain.
The next day he returned . This time he checked to make sure no yelve was in sight. If there had been he need not have worried because he brought good news. Someone had paid her mortgage payments up to date. She had been given a reprieve .
She wanted to know who had done this for her but he would not tell her.
He knew she was dying of cancer. He knew that now because of his generosity she could spend her last days in her garden .By the time the bank could act again she would be in the hospital.
It was, of course, the very least a boy could do for his mother. Right now his suit smelled good to him.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Expensive Collections

Another yelve had been found
This one long and round
His aeipathy for old tools
His pocketbook now rules
A partration will never be
Always one more to see

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 91

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: edge, haven, sunglasses, sprightly, telling, frazzled, juicy, quartet, tied, necklace
And for the mini: bees, crackling, wooden, staple, earful

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 was happy the Haz-mat case was all nicely tied up.. He felt somewhat frazzled from almost being blown up and really looked forward to a week of vacation. He looked forward to a crackling fire in the fireplace and his wife sitting next to him on the couch. He could hear himself telling her how glad he was she was his wife and how much he loved her. It would be his little haven away from the world and the criminals in the world.
On the way home he stopped and bought a beautiful necklace for his wife and sunglasses for the boys. He also picked up a quartet of juicy steaks for a very special meal. He would grill. When he reached the edge of his property he could hardly control his excitement. He exited the car and walked with a sprightly gate to the door.
That’s when his dream crashed as opening the door was not his wife but her mother and she was holding her blessed cat. She immediately gave him an earful. “ He shouldn’t leave his poor little wife alone in these dangerous times”, she said. Then she continued but Agent 012 stopped listening. She might as well have been talking to a wooden cigar store Indian as to him. But it didn’t seem to bother her. Just as certain as bees buzz and birds sing she hollers and cajoles poor agent 012. This has always been a staple of her visit. If he had listened he would have heard:
: Your boys are growing up without a father they’ll turn out as drug using crooks. Mark my words!
You weren’t even here to carry in my bags and you know how bad my back is.!
Your poor wife should leave you and come home and live with me.
Even my cat doesn’t like you.
Well I’m here and I’ll shape you up.”
This was not going to be a great vacation after all. He almost preferred to face Haz-mat.

The ten word challenge-Fazzled

Poor Helen was frazzled. The normally sprightly lady had been replaced by one that could hardly walk. It was two days after Christmas and she had worked the returns counter in Oscar”s Haven Department Store. All day long people had been telling her what was wrong with all the things they were bringing back.
“ The fringe on the rug wasn’t tied right.” That lady hit her in the head with the rug trying to show what she meant.
“ The sunglasses made you see crooked”
“The necklace was 1/2 inch too short. The package said it would be 1/2 inch longer than it was.”
“It was supposed to be a DVD of a quartet but there are only three people singing on it”
And so it went on and on until Helen was right on the edge of a total breakdown.
But the day end and she promised herself that she would never work the return counter after Christmas again, no matter what kind of juicy bonus the store offered her.
Life was just too short for such nonsense.

The mini challenge- the Terrible Mrs. Grovel

Horace had four hives for bees. The honey they produced were a staple in his diet. It was important to him because of his rare ,hereditary condition called Wooden’s Enigma . If he didn’t get fresh honey he would end up with an earful of puss and could hear this loud crackling sound all the time. But with the fresh honey everything was fine.and he had no problems.
Life would have been perfect except he lived next to door to Mrs. Dorothy Grovel who absolutely hated bees. She constantly harassed him trying to get the hives dismantled. She threatened to take him to court for harboring a nuisance . In every way she could she made his life miserable. She really hated bees.
Horace was sitting in Joe’s Coffee shop having a cup of coffee when Helen came in. She sat down next to him at the counter since there was no other seat available. Thry got to talking and discovered that they had something in common , namely Mrs. Grovel. She must have returned every Christmas gift she received and was angry about every one. Horace share his problems with her and the bees.
Helen and Horrace begaqn to date after that and a year later they were married. They almost invited Mrs. Grovel to the wedding since without het they never would have met. But reason prevailed and they didn’t.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

boy foot bear

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's

The bear was a truly mean one.
But he had feet like a child.

No one could catch him.
He destroyed cages ,and people.

Then came the mighty bear hunter, Nicholas Chan.

He had great talent and a very special wood cage.

And that's how they caught the

Boy foot bear with Teaks of Chan

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty fifth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Laughsalot wanted to get ahead
Leaving the comfort of bed
He needed a dragon head
He found the dragon Paul
In the old village Small
It sat upon a wall
It killed three good Knights
Burned up in the fights
Gave the village the frights
So Laughsalot raised his sword
Dragon just looked very bored.

Quilly 38

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story

The 3WT #38 words will be: aquabib; ficulnean; brochity

aquabib - 1. A drinker of water.
ficulnean adj -of fig-tree wood; worthless
brochity n -projecting or crooked quality of teeth

Henery the Great

Henery did not want to be an aretaloger but he felt that what he had accomplished was something one could be ebullient about. He had, after all , begun life as a ficulnean piece of human trash. His extreme brochity caused his parents to hide him in the attic. There he became an aquabib because all they ever brought him to drink was water. The story of his escape from being murklins about life to become a leading orthopedic specialist was the kind of mellifluous story that brings tears to people’s eyes. But he did know how to suffarcinate a story and was no niddering when it came to telling it.
He owed it all to his paladin, the great orthodontist who fixed his face an gave him his isangelous of a smile.
Because of that he now made sure that one third of his case load was made up of poor children and he charged them nothing.This had been his practice from the time he was a tyro.
So if he wanted to brag a little he was entitled.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Sober Word

See the ficulnean shell of a man
Getting his liquor where he can
An aquabib is far better to be
Than a heavy drinker such as he
His terrible brochity you see
Causing one to want to flee
From his curse we would be free
Moderation can be the key.


Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Portrait of Magic

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.
Thomas R. Midge the III was a true magician. That is he could do real magic. He did not, however, wish for people to know this so he spent his life working the midways of little insignificant carnivals. Here he could practice his magic openly without attracting undo attention to himself. People saw it as just part of the carnival.
This summer he was working with the Surebunk Shows in Upper Michigan . They gave his tent a place right across from the big wheel.

He had a great opening act out on the midway stage. He made birds

appear and disappear at will. Then to end the outside part of his act he turned the biggest bird into a woman with a huge puff of smoke. He promised more " illusions" inside . The woman began selling tickets and he moved inside.

Once inside he did a number of standard magic tricks . He made people from the audience disappear in a cabinet and appear in a trunk on the other side of the tent.
But his favorite was the eternal mirror trick.
He had a car mirror reflect in another mirror and suddenly there seemed to be a hundred mirrors in a row but no reflection. Then all the mirrors disappeared but their reflections appeared in the other mirror. Then in a puff of smoke they all vanished.
When asked how the trick was done he would say it was a trick of lighting. But it was real magic.
He made a decent living. THe woman who collected the money was a magic construct and when he closed up at the end of the day she just vanished. Thus he only had to worry about himself.
Long ago many of his race had walked the earth but ordinary humans afraid of their power had sought them out and killed them. Only those protected as King's wizards survived.
He doubted mankind had changed so he hid in plain sight. The very best illusion of all.

Fkash 55

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

My aunt's cat was overweight,

so she took him to the vet

The doc prescribed pills, and my aunt left .

But after a few weeks there was no change: . Soon months had gone by, and If anything, it was getting worse.

Then came the bills from the vet

Cat had become

a doc-billed fatty-puss.




Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty fifth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot wanted to move up from twelfth chair.
So he looked st the point chart.
Win joust -100
Find treasure- -200
Do quest -300
Fight a bear -400
Save village -500
Find Holy Grail -600
Defeat infidels -700
Slay Dragon -900
100 points moves you one chair
So he is off to slay a dragon.