Dr. John's Word Play

Raven's Challenge 93

2009-12-19T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: spaghetti, woe is me, mythology, avarice, windy, pathetic, paper towels, water, all my children, books
And for the mini: best deals of the week, Nobel Peace Prize, sleep deprived, cauliflower, practice

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 knew he was stuck with his windy mother-in-law until Christmas. Every day she told him what a pathetic loser he was. She had wanted her very special daughter to marry a Nobel Peace Prize winner not some bookkeeper who walked around like he was sleep deprived. The fact that she despised him did not stop her from giving him things to do for her. Today she had taken the paper and marked out the best deals of the week. She sent him out to buy spaghetti, paper towels, bottled water and cauliflower. Agent 012 hated cauliflower but she made it a practice of having her daughter cook meals he didn’t like.
The only respite the poor guy got was the hour in which she watched the soap : “All My Children” . She called it Twenty First Century mythology where the avarice and basic evil of modern man were exposed better than in any books.
Poor Agent 012 thought “ Woe is me! Where is a really good criminal when you need one”
This was not ending as a good year for him.

The ten word challenge
Woe is Me

Arvid Edward Noprize was a writer but not a very successful one. He had written three books but only one got published That one did not sell well. There was really no market for a book about the mythology of the modern soap as illustrated by the ABC program “ All My Children”. In his woe is me mode he blamed the publishing company and its pathetic attempts at publicity for its failure.
He held in his hand his fourth novel. This one was a real departure from his usual writing. It was a murder mystery entitled “ The Spaghetti Water Mystery”. In it his villain figures out how to commit the perfect murder using paper towels and the water that had been used to cook spaghetti. His killer is caught only because of his avarice and the fact that it was a windy day.
His publisher is excited and thinks this one might make the Book of the Month Club. But first he needs to fix a few things. As he thumbs through the manuscript and sees all the things underlined in red he realizes that those few things are going to take a long time.

The mini challenge
Woe is Me No More

The Book of the Month Award was not exactly the Nobel Peace Prize but to him it was even better. It meant that all those sleep deprived nights were finally paying off. He had hoped to reach this pinnacle with the first book in the series. But it fell short and was now probably part of the best deals of the week in a hundred bookstores. You know the practice. All the poor lost books are thrown into one big markdown bin for one last chance to get sold.
But his last book in the vegetable mystery series, “ The Cauliflower Killer” made it to the top. It would be a long time before it ended up in the bin. In fact some stores will resurrect the other two and sell them side by side with this one. There is nothing that succeeds like success.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash 55-Rats

2009-12-17T13:00:00.000-08:00

Flash Fiction 55

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55. Here is today's:

The poor postal worker found vermin among the packages on the large porcelain basin where the packages were sorted.

That was early Tuesday morning.
The exterminator came on Thursday
but there wasn't an animal to be found.
They were very confused until they remembered the old saying that

rats will always leave a shipping sink.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty seventh chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Looking around and seeing nobody Sir Laughsalot said:
" Robert I need a favor"
The big dragon responded:
" Well I owe you one"
"You do indeed,. I need an already dead dragon".
"You want me to get you an already dead dragon?"
"Right"
" I'll wait three hills over, North".
"Okay!" and the big dragon flew off.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 40

2009-12-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story
The 3WT #40 words will be: lubency; adimpleate; pamphagous
Other Quilly word definitions HERE.

lubency :(Noun) willingness; pleasure
Adimpleate (Verb). to fill up
Pamphagous-( Adj) Omnivorous.-eating everything; all-consuming

Orville Tearman took his lubency where he could find it. There certainly wasn’t much lubency in his life these days.This morning he went to the Public Library and checked out every book they had on teterrimous monsters. Now he was adimpleating on information concerning all monsters. His obsession with monsters had become a pamphagous desire to learn all he could.
For Orville was sure that a monster was invigilating him like a proctor invigilating an exam. He wanted to be careful not to misqueme the monster and cause him to attack. He worried most when he was lying murklins in his bed at night. Then he was sure he could see the monster with its horrible brochity and that one big sharp tooth. He knew it had ossifragant power. Of course, that might have been just a hitonious dream or nightmare. But he was afraid the monster was trying to kill him. The stiricide yesterday that almost hit him was no accident. He was sure the monster pushed that ice. Now he was afraid to leave the house. The momster had turned him into a niddering. His friends had stopped visiting they could no longer stand the vultuous visage which was his face.
He searched now for a spell, a word, a substance that would help him obstrigillate or even drive away the monster.
In the last book he read he found these words:
All Monsters rise from within us.
They belong to us.
We must learn to live with them.
They will not go away.
Somehow that information put an operiment on his monster and sent it back inside of him.
If it was his he could control it. He was free at last.
They found him the next day ripped to shreds. The authorities never could figure out what had the power to do that.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Writer of Poems

The lubency of the poem writer
Was in making the world brighter
The pamphagous public wanted more
Even though his arm was sore
He adimpleated on bread and grapes
Food better fit for old line apes
And so he wrote from Dawn till night
Wanting to get things just right

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Boring

2009-12-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.

Fredrico Armlength was bored. He was really bored.
When he set his sights on becoming one of the richest men in the world he hadn't realized how boring it would be. He would tell you it is boring being horribly rich.
He, of course had his own jet. What rich man doesn't have his own jet.
Thus he could fly anywhere he wanted to fly. But he had already done that . In fact he had visited some of those places more than once.
He owned the biggest , most modern building in all of Claptrapet, North Carolina.
In fact he owned the only modern building in Claptrapet but even it was boring. It had been designed by Pavo Hinski the great Finnish architect . It was supposed to be his greatest work. But it was boring.
He had paid for an archeological dig in the great Southwest that found and now preserved an ancient Indian temple.
People from all over the world flocked to see it. But now , to him, it was just boring.
He missed the old days. Back when he ws struggling to get ahead. He had worked many a company picnic , making just the right friends to lift him toward his goal
Those were exciting days. He wasn't bored then.
But now he either had everything or he could buy it. If he wanted some special vase or any other artifact he could send someone to get it. '
He could even pay to have it stolen if he wanted to. But it was boring. There was no challenge.
And he was alone, really alone. He had stepped on or over his friends on the way to the top. His wife and children had left him. She didn't even want alimony. She kept saying she wanted him back, the way he used to be.
He would sit down to eat alone again tonight.
He could , of course , pay people to come an eat with him. He could just invite the greedy ones.But they weren't there for him. They were there for the money.
He was alone and he was bored.
That's when he decided he didn't have to go on like that. He called in his top legal staff and had them create the Armlength Foundation. It would give money to the hungry of the world. He then transferred all his money to the Foundation and arranged for all of his profits from his business enterprises to go to the foundation. Then he disappeared.
He got himself a job in some small town somewhere. He started out now with new goals. He did not aim to be rich but instead he aimed to get his wife back and to earn new friends.
It would not be easy but it sure wouldn't be boring.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 92

2009-12-12T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: sugar, mortgage, logical, roller skates, outlandish, Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, cumberbund, unexpected, photo album, scarecrow
And for the mini: tomatoes, turtles, basement apartment, circumference, make my day

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Poor Agent 012 was having the worst vacation of his life. The unexpected visit of his mother-in-law with her outlandish cat was making him wish they had put in that basement apartment he and his wife had talked about. Then he would have someplace to go and hide instead of having to be around her all day long. He would even be able to watch football which she says is an evil game where grown men hurt each other, not fit for her grandchildren. Further she felt he should be taking the boys out on roller skates instead of letting them play those vile video games She did watch television, though, as she parked herself in front of the TV all day long. He has seen the Macy’s add “ Yes Virginia , there is a Santa Claus” so many times that the little girl almost feels like one of the family.
She insists on hauling out the photo album from his wedding and pointing out the picture of him in his cumberbund and saying he looked like a scarecrow. Then she goes through the whole album in no logical order pointing out everything that was wrong with the wedding. The main thing that was wrong, of course, is that he was the groom.
At this point she has eaten all the chocolate turtles and gone through a ten pound bag of sugar. The sugar was used in coffee that ended up being more sugar than coffee and in breakfast cereal where the sugar was equal to or greater than the cereal.
She was pestering him to refinance his mortgage with the Small Circumference Mortgage Co. because she said he could save thousands every year.
At this point he was sitting in the kitchen playing with the tomatoes and thinking what a nice sound they would make as they hit her and squished all over. He lined her up in his sights and thought” Come on old lady make my day.”

It looked like it would be some time before he had a great day.

The ten word challenge-Memories

The Macy’s Add “ Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”, was playing in the background as he added just a little sugar to his afternoon coffee, He opened the old photo album with its many memories. There was his brother Jeffry in his cumberbund. He hadn’t looked that good since the wedding.
There he was on roller skates. He hadn’t done that for years. If he was to try that now he would fall in the most outlandish way. It was just logical to assume he would.
There was the picture of he and Nancy burning the mortgage when the house was fully theirs. That picture was made possible by the unexpected big win he had on a lottery ticket.
He was a good looking man in those days. Now he looked like a scarecrow his body ravaged by the cancer and the treatment.
But he had his album and he had his memories . They couldn’t take those away.

The mini challenge- Make My Day

Someone had broken the circumference of the area protected by his silent burglar alarm in his little basement apartment. From the bedroom he could hear him looking through things. He moved quietly to the open doorway. The man had the box of chocolate turtles his granddaughter had brought him earlier that day in one hand and the precious photo album in the other. “ Come on sucker” he thought” move a little further over and make my day. “
As if in response the crook moved and he fired. It caught him full in the face. There was red everywhere as the crook went down in a heap.
He called 911 and waited for the police.
“ Why did you shoot him” they asked?
“He was taking my most precious possession” he responded.
The police man shook his head and said “ Not a good reason to kill a man”.
He laughed and said .” This gun fires a mean tomato but I doubt it killed him. Wake him up, wipe him off, and get him out of here.”
There was no way anyone was going to take his album and his memories away.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash Fiction 55

2009-12-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

Flash Fiction 55

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55. Here is today's:

He bought the most expensive car he could afford.
It had every known bell and whistle.
He was so very proud and loved to show it off.
He loved the looks he got while driving it.
But the day came when he drove his car into a tree
and found out how the

Mercedes bends.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty sixth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot stood armed with a burlap bag.
The dragon looked down at Laughsalot, opened its mouth, and licked its lips.
At the moment Laugsalot threw the burlap bag into the dragon's mouth.
The dragon's flame went out.
Sir Laughsalot pulled his Laughing Sword and advanced toward the dragon.
The dragon was no longer bored.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 39

2009-12-10T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story

The 3WT #39 words will be: yelve, patration, aeipathy

Yelve- 1. (obsolete) A fork used to carry dung; such a fork used as a garden tool.
patration - -(n) perfection or completion of something
Aeipathy- 1. A continued passion; an unyielding disease.

He found Old Bettsy in her garden which was her aeipathy and had always been. He told her that the patration of the law suit meant she would have to leave the home she loved and the bank would take control of it. She responded by taking her yelve which she was using to fertilize the garden and throwing the contents at him. It stained the front of his new suit and with a maleolent stain.
“Please” he said “ I’m just the messenger. It isn’t my fault you took out a mortgage you can’t pay.
She looked at him and began to cry.
There was no way that he could obarmate himself against that. He felt her pain.
The next day he returned . This time he checked to make sure no yelve was in sight. If there had been he need not have worried because he brought good news. Someone had paid her mortgage payments up to date. She had been given a reprieve .
She wanted to know who had done this for her but he would not tell her.
He knew she was dying of cancer. He knew that now because of his generosity she could spend her last days in her garden .By the time the bank could act again she would be in the hospital.
It was, of course, the very least a boy could do for his mother. Right now his suit smelled good to him.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Expensive Collections

Another yelve had been found
This one long and round
His aeipathy for old tools
His pocketbook now rules
A partration will never be
Always one more to see

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 91

2009-12-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: edge, haven, sunglasses, sprightly, telling, frazzled, juicy, quartet, tied, necklace
And for the mini: bees, crackling, wooden, staple, earful

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 was happy the Haz-mat case was all nicely tied up.. He felt somewhat frazzled from almost being blown up and really looked forward to a week of vacation. He looked forward to a crackling fire in the fireplace and his wife sitting next to him on the couch. He could hear himself telling her how glad he was she was his wife and how much he loved her. It would be his little haven away from the world and the criminals in the world.
On the way home he stopped and bought a beautiful necklace for his wife and sunglasses for the boys. He also picked up a quartet of juicy steaks for a very special meal. He would grill. When he reached the edge of his property he could hardly control his excitement. He exited the car and walked with a sprightly gate to the door.
That’s when his dream crashed as opening the door was not his wife but her mother and she was holding her blessed cat. She immediately gave him an earful. “ He shouldn’t leave his poor little wife alone in these dangerous times”, she said. Then she continued but Agent 012 stopped listening. She might as well have been talking to a wooden cigar store Indian as to him. But it didn’t seem to bother her. Just as certain as bees buzz and birds sing she hollers and cajoles poor agent 012. This has always been a staple of her visit. If he had listened he would have heard:
: Your boys are growing up without a father they’ll turn out as drug using crooks. Mark my words!
You weren’t even here to carry in my bags and you know how bad my back is.!
Your poor wife should leave you and come home and live with me.
Even my cat doesn’t like you.
Well I’m here and I’ll shape you up.”
This was not going to be a great vacation after all. He almost preferred to face Haz-mat.

The ten word challenge-Fazzled

Poor Helen was frazzled. The normally sprightly lady had been replaced by one that could hardly walk. It was two days after Christmas and she had worked the returns counter in Oscar”s Haven Department Store. All day long people had been telling her what was wrong with all the things they were bringing back.
“ The fringe on the rug wasn’t tied right.” That lady hit her in the head with the rug trying to show what she meant.
“ The sunglasses made you see crooked”
“The necklace was 1/2 inch too short. The package said it would be 1/2 inch longer than it was.”
“It was supposed to be a DVD of a quartet but there are only three people singing on it”
And so it went on and on until Helen was right on the edge of a total breakdown.
But the day end and she promised herself that she would never work the return counter after Christmas again, no matter what kind of juicy bonus the store offered her.
Life was just too short for such nonsense.

The mini challenge- the Terrible Mrs. Grovel

Horace had four hives for bees. The honey they produced were a staple in his diet. It was important to him because of his rare ,hereditary condition called Wooden’s Enigma . If he didn’t get fresh honey he would end up with an earful of puss and could hear this loud crackling sound all the time. But with the fresh honey everything was fine.and he had no problems.
Life would have been perfect except he lived next to door to Mrs. Dorothy Grovel who absolutely hated bees. She constantly harassed him trying to get the hives dismantled. She threatened to take him to court for harboring a nuisance . In every way she could she made his life miserable. She really hated bees.
Horace was sitting in Joe’s Coffee shop having a cup of coffee when Helen came in. She sat down next to him at the counter since there was no other seat available. Thry got to talking and discovered that they had something in common , namely Mrs. Grovel. She must have returned every Christmas gift she received and was angry about every one. Horace share his problems with her and the bees.
Helen and Horrace begaqn to date after that and a year later they were married. They almost invited Mrs. Grovel to the wedding since without het they never would have met. But reason prevailed and they didn’t.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

boy foot bear

2009-12-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

The bear was a truly mean one.
But he had feet like a child.

No one could catch him.
He destroyed cages ,and people.

Then came the mighty bear hunter, Nicholas Chan.

He had great talent and a very special wood cage.

And that's how they caught the

Boy foot bear with Teaks of Chan

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty fifth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Laughsalot wanted to get ahead
Leaving the comfort of bed
He needed a dragon head
He found the dragon Paul
In the old village Small
It sat upon a wall
It killed three good Knights
Burned up in the fights
Gave the village the frights
So Laughsalot raised his sword
Dragon just looked very bored.

Quilly 38

2009-12-03T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story

The 3WT #38 words will be: aquabib; ficulnean; brochity

aquabib - 1. A drinker of water.
ficulnean adj -of fig-tree wood; worthless
brochity n -projecting or crooked quality of teeth

Henery the Great

Henery did not want to be an aretaloger but he felt that what he had accomplished was something one could be ebullient about. He had, after all , begun life as a ficulnean piece of human trash. His extreme brochity caused his parents to hide him in the attic. There he became an aquabib because all they ever brought him to drink was water. The story of his escape from being murklins about life to become a leading orthopedic specialist was the kind of mellifluous story that brings tears to people’s eyes. But he did know how to suffarcinate a story and was no niddering when it came to telling it.
He owed it all to his paladin, the great orthodontist who fixed his face an gave him his isangelous of a smile.
Because of that he now made sure that one third of his case load was made up of poor children and he charged them nothing.This had been his practice from the time he was a tyro.
So if he wanted to brag a little he was entitled.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Sober Word

See the ficulnean shell of a man
Getting his liquor where he can
An aquabib is far better to be
Than a heavy drinker such as he
His terrible brochity you see
Causing one to want to flee
From his curse we would be free
Moderation can be the key.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Portrait of Magic

2009-12-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.
Thomas R. Midge the III was a true magician. That is he could do real magic. He did not, however, wish for people to know this so he spent his life working the midways of little insignificant carnivals. Here he could practice his magic openly without attracting undo attention to himself. People saw it as just part of the carnival.
This summer he was working with the Surebunk Shows in Upper Michigan . They gave his tent a place right across from the big wheel.

He had a great opening act out on the midway stage. He made birds

appear and disappear at will. Then to end the outside part of his act he turned the biggest bird into a woman with a huge puff of smoke. He promised more " illusions" inside . The woman began selling tickets and he moved inside.

Once inside he did a number of standard magic tricks . He made people from the audience disappear in a cabinet and appear in a trunk on the other side of the tent.
But his favorite was the eternal mirror trick.
He had a car mirror reflect in another mirror and suddenly there seemed to be a hundred mirrors in a row but no reflection. Then all the mirrors disappeared but their reflections appeared in the other mirror. Then in a puff of smoke they all vanished.
When asked how the trick was done he would say it was a trick of lighting. But it was real magic.
He made a decent living. THe woman who collected the money was a magic construct and when he closed up at the end of the day she just vanished. Thus he only had to worry about himself.
Long ago many of his race had walked the earth but ordinary humans afraid of their power had sought them out and killed them. Only those protected as King's wizards survived.
He doubted mankind had changed so he hid in plain sight. The very best illusion of all.

Fkash 55

2009-11-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

My aunt's cat was overweight,

so she took him to the vet

The doc prescribed pills, and my aunt left .

But after a few weeks there was no change: . Soon months had gone by, and If anything, it was getting worse.

Then came the bills from the vet

Cat had become

a doc-billed fatty-puss.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty fifth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot wanted to move up from twelfth chair.
So he looked st the point chart.
Win joust -100
Find treasure- -200
Do quest -300
Fight a bear -400
Save village -500
Find Holy Grail -600
Defeat infidels -700
Slay Dragon -900
100 points moves you one chair
So he is off to slay a dragon.

2009-11-21T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: love is a many splendored thing, trucks, inspector, symbols, rising, organic, liberation, costly, smug, naughty
And for the mini: the nature of the beast, identical, charcoal, braggart, vacation

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

The very smug Haz-mat now became every inch the braggart as he said to Agent 012 “ When I push this button I help to begin the liberation of America from its false gods. The smoke of three blocks or more will be like incense rising in the temple of truth. And your greed and need for all those rotting organic things will have made it possible. ”
Agent 012 responded “ But you will kill all those innocent people and that’s pretty costly incense.”
“ In war there are no innocent people that’s the nature of the beast “ Haz-mat continued. “Everyone is identical in their guilt. Naughty or nice by your reckoning means nothing. Truth stands above all.”
Agent 012 now confronted him with “ Put down the button or I will have to shoot you.”
Haz-mat laughed and said “ If I drop this button the bomb goes off right at that moment and I become one of many martyrs that are symbols of the coming world”.
“Wrong on every count “ Agent 012 said as he shot him in the knee causing him to fall on the floor and drop the button. There was no explosion There was no burst of fire causing them to become forever charcoal etchings on the wall. There was only silence and then the screaming of Haz-mat.
Agent 012 ran to the pipe twisted off the top and pulled the timer with two minutes left to go. “ You see I knew what devices you bought to set off the explosives and they weren’t electronic.”
Then Agent 012 called for the bomb truck and the inspector to remove this thing. He didn’t want to take any chances. The Agency people came and took Haz-mat away.
Now Agent 012 looked forward to some well earned vacation time . He began to sing “Love is a many splendored thing”.
This was really going to be his day.

The ten word challenge-Poor Little Rich Boy

Fredrick P. Raha III was depressed . You would think that one of the richest men in the world be happy. He could have anything he wanted , no matter how costly. He had an entire fleet of trucks filled with organic food. Not many people can say that. He had his own jet planes that could fly him to naughty Paris on a moment’s notice. He had an army of inspectors that checked everything and kept all his business partners honest. He had all the symbols that belonged to wealthy men. He was hailed in new magazines as a rising star in the health food business. Most men in his condition would rejoice being both smug in their position and knowing that everybody else envied them.
But Fredrick was not most men. For the fourth time that day he listened to the song “ Love is a many splendored thing” and started to cry. The one thing Fredrick wanted was somebody to love him.
Of course, he could have a woman but she was in love with him but his money. The woman he met were not the path to liberation from his depression. In fact each greedy beggar had added to it.
He wanted somebody who cared for him and only him not his millions. But for Fredrick it was just not to be.

The mini challenge- Rich Little Poor Boy

Poor George, the old car wouldn’t start again. “It was the nature of the beast” he thought “ It always quits when I’m in a hurry”. Sally waved good-by as George walked to the bus stop and took the bus into work. There he made those charcoal briquettes for barbecues . It was not an exciting job turning out identical little puffs of gray one after another but it paid the bills. His boss who was something of a braggart said they made the best charcoal briquettes in the world but he didn’t see any difference between them and the others. But he always agreed because he needed the job. Today was his last day of work before his two week vacation. Two weeks he would get to spend with Sally, two weeks of heaven.
On his way home on the bus he thought that this might be the time to tell her the secret. He was afraid that if she knew she might no longer love him. But he so wanted to give her things.
This had to be the time to tell her he wasn’t really George but Fredrick. This was the time to move her to the mansion.
He hoped she would still love him. He really did.
But he was too afraid so instead he made a call on his cell phone . When he got home Sally was all excited . It seems they had won second place in the Raha Organic Foods Company’s sweepstake . It consisted of an all expense paid two weeks at a beautiful Hawaiian Resort with cash to spend. What a marvelous way to spend their vacation.
When he got back the car would look the same but the engine will have been replaced. The charcoal company will have been taken over by a conglomerate and his pay will be increased. There are some advantages to being secretly rich.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Dirty Bird

2009-11-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

The Tern is a dirty bird.

It messed up the town.
They wanted it gone.

But they were very hard to get rid of.

For loud noise and gunshots didn't work.
You had to hit them with a rock.
Thus it was that over the city hall the town motto read

Leave no Tern unstoned

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty third chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

In the great fight between Knight Day and Knight Nite , Nite defeated Day, which darkened Day's day.
Nite took Day's seat at the square table.
So we now had :
Seat one- The Shining Knight
Seat two -the One legged Knight
Seat three- Knight Nite
Seat Four-Knight Day
Seat Twelve- Knight Laughsalot
Sir Laughsalot stopped laughing.

Quilly 37

2009-11-19T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story

The 3WT #37 words will be: aretaloger; kexy; & gardeviance
Aretaloger-braggart; one who boasts about his own accomplishments
Kexy-dry, brittle, withered
Gardeviance -chest for valuables; a travelling trunk

In his old gardeviance which people insisted on calling a traveling trunk were all of Towner’s worldly goods. They were proof in some sense that he was no mere aretaloger but everything he said had really been his life. He was not boasting. There were the love letters now very kexy that he swore were the center of the greatest romance in the history of mankind. There were the descriptions of his life written when he had his own personal amanuensis. Those also now somewhat kexy. There was the horn from the Unicorn which nobody would believe was real. There was a sample of the rubefacient Herb that had turned him a bright red.
But when he tried to share these stories they called him an aretaloger. It’s no wonder he had sat alone and depressed.
But that was before his grandchildren came and asked him to tell them the Unicorn story again. They loved him and his stories, grand kids are like that.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

A Bit of Bragging

An aretaloger he had always been
It would go on till who knows when
He stood upon the kexy leaves
His gardeviance near his knees
Isangelous he saw himself to be
Proudly proclaimed it for all to see
But murklins his listeners were
Their anger he did stir.

Life Changing

2009-11-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.

Life Changing

This is Gabino Cipriano shown here with his wife and one of his three children.
They live in one of the most beautiful areas of the world.

He and his family work hard and every Sunday attend this Church.
Gabino, like his father before him is a coffee grower. He grows some of the finest coffee in the world but until recently he was dirt poor. The big coffee companies controlled the market and didn't pay him very much for his coffee But they were his only market.
But that was before the bus came. On the side it said Lutheran World Relief and Fair Exchange
.It seems they were setting up cooperatives all through Latin America so that small farmers like
Gabino could sell their coffee through them and get a fair price. They had their own warehouses and transfer facilities.
Further a group called Equal Exchange would process and sell the coffee through churches in the United States. It even had it's own website.
Further, part of the money from the sale would be used by Lutheran World Relief for projects in Gabino's community.
Gabino joined that day and has never been sorry. He looks forward to a happier future.

Raven's Challenge 89

2009-11-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: officer, candid, drowning, turtles, sugar-coated, prospecting, shame on you, reclinder, luggage, brains
And for the mini: paragon of virtue, cats-in-the-cradle, swamp, sprinkles, garbage

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 entered the Spider Webs Tower and asked to see the manager in the background the song Cats-in the Cradle sung by Harry Chapin was playing.. He called the local police and told the Officer in charge that he needed some help in clearing the building. When the Manager came he was perfectly candid and sugar-coated nothing. He told him that an international terrorist named Haz-mat was planning to blow up the building and might even be in the building at this time.
He then gave each police officer a picture of Haz-mat and had them seal every door but the front one. They were then to go through the building and see to it that everybody left through the front door. As they looked for Haz –mat they were to watch for brief cases , backpacks, or luggage that didn't seem to belong to anybody but that might contain a bomb. He then began to show Haz-mat’s picture to the employees.
The janitor said that looked like the man from the electric company but that man had all the right papers and seemed like a paragon of virtue. He said that some man with no brains had been prospecting in a local swamp and hit an electric cable and he needed to check out our electrical system to see if it had any effect on it. He also instructed me to keep everybody else out while he checked for their safety. He told me that if anybody got hurt he would be drowning in paper work. I think he is still down there.
Agent 012 hurried to the basement where he found Haz-Mat hunched over a pipe. “ Shame on you” Agent 012 said “ Trying to blow up all those innocent people. But I have cleared the building and all that you can kill are you and I.”
“Wrong! Stupid one! “ Haz-mat said.”This building like most of the others on this area was built on an old garbage dump that contained sprinkles of almost everything from rotting turtles to decaying reclinders. As they have rotted a pool of Methane gas has arisen under the entire area. This pipe loaded with explosives goes down into the gas. When I push this button “ he said, showing Agent 012 what looked like a garage door opener button.” It will blow up everybody for an entire block.”
It really didn’t look like this was going to be Agent 012’s day.

The ten word challenge-Listen to Mama

Wilhelmina Candid was the owner and the brains behind the Greater Turtles Pet Company. In her little shop along with the usual cats, dogs, parrots and fish she had every kind of turtle you could think of. She had land turtles and water turtles and even one very rare Drowning Turtle from the West Indies . She was always on the Web prospecting for new and different turtles. This month she had directed her publicity officer to set up a contest so that visitors to the store or to her Turtles website would have a chance to win a beautiful new reclinder or a set of perfectly matched luggage.
The store was filling up and Welhelmina had never been so happy. This caused her mother to tell her that she needed to remember that there was often a calm before the storm.
She became quite agitated and said “ Shame on you Mamma for trying to ruin my day”.
The next day one of the turtles had strange spots and looked strange. She called the vet and the vet came immediately.
The vet said “ I suppose I should have sugar coated this but it looks like we have to close you down until the turtle is tested and we can be sure the rest of the shop is not infected . It seems to have a rare bacteria that can kill every pet in the shop and has been known to spread to people.”
The storm had come.

The mini challenge- Listen to Mama

William (Bully) Sprinkles , never a paragon of virtue, sat behind his desk in his Cats-In-The-Cradle Pet Company absolutely filled with joy at the customers that were coming in. Since the closing of his primary competition on the other side of town his business had more than doubled. It was worth the entire day he spent in that swamp wading through garbage looking for a sick turtle. He even lost his best pair of gloves, stuck on some kind of thorn bush. And when he found the miserable thing it didn’t want to go into the carrying crate. The rotten little thing even nipped his finger. Breaking into the shop at night and replacing her turtle with his had been the easy part. A fifth grader could pick that lock and no alarm system. What a trusting fool. Yep! Everything was going well for old Bully.
The next day the vet met with Wilhelmina and told her the good news. “As long as the turtle was in his own enclosure the other animals could not be infected. They had to touch it or be bitten by it to get sick. Now did any of your staff get bitten or touch the turtle with their bare hands? Humans get sick from this bacteria , really sick for a long time.”
She responded “ No they all wear a special leather glove with a plastic lining.
“ Then all I have to do is a quick check of the other animals and you can reopen”, the Vet said.
“ See Willy! The sun always shines brighter after the storm” her mother said.
Yes Mama! She replied smiling.
On the other side of town Bully didn’t make it in to work. In fact he didn’t make it out of the bathroom. He was sick . He was really sick.
Too bad his mother wasn’t there to tell him.” What you sow you also reap.”

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

One more note. I am on new medication which prevented my sleeping last night. I am so tired that I doubt I will do any blog visiting today.

Flash 55- A Princess

2009-11-13T01:00:00.000-08:00

Everything she touched melted

until he put her hand in his pocket.
She felt something hard and it did not melt!

He put it in her mouth and it melted right away.
What was in the pants?

Why M&Ms , of course!. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. What were you thinking?

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty second chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Knight Nite joined the Mystical Square Table.
Unlike Sir Day who was only a day Knight Sir Knight Nite was both a day knight and a night knight.
To earn his chair Nite had to fight Day.
So Kinght Nite fought Knight Day during the day because Day Knight was not a night knight.

Quilly Week 36

2009-11-12T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story
Week Thirty-Six: (11.12.09) confabulation; pudify; & rimestock.

confabulation-Familiar talk; easy, unrestrained, unceremonious conversation.
pudify-to cause to be ashamed
rimestock.--old almanac with runic writings

The Plan in Action

Mallory studied all the evidence he had accumulated thus far. As he looked over the invoice for the phalerae that was stolen he noticed something else. Immediately a plan began to form .He knew he couldn’t prove that Foxco and the DA were working together but the evidence pointed in that direction. After some thought he took the best of what he had and went to see Judge Monty Trueheart, one judge he was sure he could trust. He needed two warrants, one to tap the DA’s phone and one to search the residence and business of Alexander
Foxco.. The judge had no problem with the Foxco warrant but only reluctantly gave the warrant for the tap on the DA’s phone. “I hope”, he said “this doesn’t pudify us.”
Then Mallory sent deputies to exercise the warrant and search the house and office of Foxco. They went in two unmarked cars and were told to park outside the home and office and wait for Mallory to tell them to go in.
Then he went to have a confabulation with the DA. In their discussion of the case he pointed out that along with the stolen phalerae in the museum shipment was a very valuable rimestock. It had not shown up with the phalerae found at Josh’s place. Because they were concentrating on the killings it had been ignored. But now he believes Foxco has it and he was sending deputies with a warrant to look for it. She said she would hold up Josh’s trial until he had checked out that lead.
As soon as Mallory left the DA called Foxco and told him “ Mallory is coming with a warrant get rid of the rimestock. Now!
Of course, Mallory listened in on the conversation. He waited five minutes and sent in the deputies. They found Foxco with the book in his hands. They arrested him on the spot.
Mallory went back to the DA’s office and placed her under arrest.
Both Fosco and the DA claimed the other was the mastermind and the real killer.
The State’s Attorneys Office sent in a Prosecuting Attorney for the case.
Mallory gave Josh back his property and told him about the oil.
Josh didn’t want his land being messed up by oil companies and decided to ignore it.
And Mallory could now look out the office window without worrying about being shot.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

The Last Druid

The rimestock unopened lay
It’s owners long gone away
Center of this confabulation
Held at the mystic station
It does not pudify me to say
We’ll see magic this very day
For I am a priest of the Druid clan
Knowing more than ordinary man

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 88

2009-11-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: Cute, come with me to the Casba, bloodhound, respiration, Facebook, Canada Geese, modern, gravity, spider webs, sea shells
And for the mini: curiosity killed the cat, charming Victorian, railroad tracks, tower, salt and pepper

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 , now just slightly green , had reached his destination which was a restaurant designed to look like a mid-Eastern club. Over the door , supposedly to add to the atmosphere, was a sign that said “ Come with me to the Casba”.
He entered to discover the designers had failed and it was a hitonious almost risible imitation. As he sat waiting for the informant he wondered why informants never met in charming Victorian style restaurants with mellifluous music playing.
Becoming bored he played with the salt and pepper shakers which were shaped like little camels.
He looked up as a ugly old man entered, looked around, and then came to sit with Agent 012 at the table.
“ Do you have any sea shells for sale?” the old man asked.
“ Curiosity killed the cat” , Agent 012 replied.
The old man then sounding as if he had a respiration problem gave him directions to the Spider Webs Tower. And assured him that what he wanted would be there.
As he left Agent 012 wondered why informants were always ugly and never cute. He also realized that he knew the address he had been given. It was just across the railroad tracks from the Facebook Computer Center and three buildings over from his favorite tragematopolist’s shop. But now that he had the information like a bloodhound catching the scent he was out and after Haz-mat.
When he reached his destination there was a flock of Canada Geese flying overhead and he wondered if that was a good or bad omen. The Spider Webs Tower itself was one of those truly modern buildings that seemed to defy gravity. The best of science and architecture had gone into that building but Agent 012 couldn’t help but think that a few well placed explosives and it defied gravity no longer. Perhaps in a world of people like Haz-mat that would always be the ineluctable conclusion. But not if he could stop it.
He had no idea what kind of day this would be.

The ten word challenge-Climb of Fame

Gloria was all the way up to the $60,000 question on the Quiz show “ Climb the Money Ladder” when they asked her in what movie does the phrase “Come with me to the Casba” appear? She had no idea. That one never showed up on Facebook and she wasn’t a movie goer or TV watcher. She was a modern internet person after all.
By this point she had answered a difficult question on the migration pattern of Canada Geese and a slightly easier one on the composition of spider webs. She had had no trouble on the easy questions about bloodhounds and sea shells.
Now she didn’t know the answer and that left her with that horrible choice. She could quit and take the $30,000 she had already won or she could climb the ladder. Her respiration quickened and her pulse increased. She had promised herself that she would not try the ladder but $30,000 was at stake . Could she come that close and just walk away ? She looked at the ladder . It didn’t seem impossible to climb to the step marked $ 60,000 and then holding on with one hand retrieve the paper with the answer on it. Of course the ladder was at an angle and she had to climb up the underside. Gravity would be trying to pull her off the ladder and down to the floor. But then she couldn’t really fall. They had that harness on her and if she left go she would be floating. But that’s when the camera zeroed in on the poor person. You don’t look cute hanging in the air just having lost all the money. She knew all of that. She told herself again I promised not to climb. I promised myself. Then she turned and pushed the green button. They began to strap the harness on her.

The mini challenge- Winning?

The salt and pepper shakers were shouting at each other.
“ Curiosity killed the cat”, said the salt shaker. In a high pitched voice.
“ But satisfaction brought her back” said the pepper shaker in a low throaty voice.
On and on they went.
She shook her head trying to clear the images and the voices. She wanted to know where she was and how she got there. On the wall directly across from the end of the bed was a large oil painting of a charming Victorian tower flanked by railroad tracks. She knew she didn’t own a painting like that. She looked down at the bed all her coverings were white. Where were the delightful rainbow sheets she had just put on the beds last week? Where was she.
Just then the door opened an a nurse entered. “ Finally your awake “ she said. You have been in a semi-coma. For a week. You kept saying cat so we sent somebody to your house and your cat has been fed every day.
As the nurse went on memories came flooding back. She saw herself climbing the ladder. She held on with one hand. She grabbed the right answer with the other. Then everything went black.
“Nurse, Nurse” she said “ Did I win”?

An After Thought

The two writers looked at the pile of papers spread out on the table before them. They were filled with notes and stage directions for their latest made for TV movie. Bob, the head writer. Says “ It is shaping up nicely. The graphics boys are having a field day with the salt and pepper shakers and the Director has everything pretty will blocked out. But we still don’t have an ending”

Winning Sort Of

Fred says “We could have the nurse answer her question by saying “ Concerning that miss I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is you lost your grip and while you were hanging there the cable snapped and you fell forty feet to the stage where you broke your leg and suffered a concussion. So you didn’t win. But the good news is that between the lawyers and the insurance company your going to come away with a lot more money than you would have won.”

Losing Sort Of

Bob says “ I hate to reward her greed. We could have the nurse respond
“Concerning that miss I have some good news and some bad news.. The good news is you you made it to the floor. Then you decided to quit. They gave you the check for $60,000 and you went home. There you interrupted a thief robbing your house who hit you on the head giving you the concussion and putting you into the coma. The police did catch the young man. But the bad news is that you have no health insurance and this hospital stay is going to use up all your winnings and you will still owe the hospital.”
If we use this ending it’s a little help for the President’s health care effort. We liberals have to stick together,

You Decide

Maybe we should do both endings then run them by a test panel and then pick the one to use when Boxed at Home runs it.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash55- Another Pun

2009-11-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

The son of then South Korean President Syngman Rhee was hired as a Life Magazine correspondent.
The younger Rhee loved to drink
and on one occasion, Rhee was missing for three days .
Finally a policeman checking a tavern
, found the young man man and cried,

"Ah, Sweet Mr. Rhee of Life, at last I've found you."

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirty first chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE
Sir Day the Knight applied for admission to the square table.
But only for the day shift.
He was a day Knight , not a night Knight.
At night the Knight Sir Day had no sight and couldn't fight.
King Underwear waited a day to say it was okay.
Thus Knight Day became a day Knight .

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 35

2009-11-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have our choice of any word introduced in October. They are:

Suffarcinate-to load up, to stuff
spiscious-adj. of a thick consistancy
tristifical-adj. causing to be gloomy or grievous

maleolent-adj 1657 -1727-having an ill odour
xenization- n 1818 -1818- to exist as a stranger.
pigritude-n 1623 -1656- slothfulness

tenellous adj 1651 -1651- somewhat tender
utible adj 1623 -1711- serviceable; useful
nubivagant adj 1656 -1656- moving throughout or among clouds

misqueme v 1395 -1658-to displease; to offend
tragematopolist (plural tragematopolists)- 1. A confectioner, or a seller of sweets.
vacivity n 1656 -172 -Emptiness, containing nothing; meaningless, without knowledge or sense; frivolous; foolish

All of Quilly's words may be found HERE

A Plan

Detecive Mallory now knew that Alexander Foxco was behind the killings and it was all because he knew there was oil on Josh’s land. He also suspected but wasn’t sure that the DA was working with Foxco This would explain why she was in such a hurry to take Josh to trial. But such conjecture was useless with his present vacivity.
What he needed was a utible plan. As he sat at his desk thinking suddenly the window exploded and a bullet whizzed by his ear. He dropped to the floor, ignoring the maleolent old boards , pulled his revolver, and crawled to the window but when he looked out he could just see a black car pulling away. He couldn’t get the license number. Standing he rubbed his now tenellous knees and shook . Now they had extremely misquemed him.
IT had to have been Foxco or one of his stooges. But how did he know that Mallory was getting close? The only one Mallory told of the evidence was the DA. Now he was fairly certain she had to be one of them.
He went straight from his office to the lawyer’s and had a paper drawn up. Then he and the lawyer went to the jail to visit Josh. He explained to Josh he had a plan to get him out but Josh had to trust him. He wanted Josh to sign over all of his property to him. Josh trusted Mallory fully and didn’t hesitate in signing. The lawyer witnessed the signing.
Then Detective Mallory sent the lawyer to visit the DA and to tell her that he would be representing Josh. Tell her that to make this possible Josh had signed over all his property to Detective Mallory who would then be paying the legal bills.
After that was completed Mallory went back to the office having stopped only to pull the security video from the entrance to the tragematopolist at the end of the street.
To be continued.

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Candy Making

Maleolent wind blows across the plain
Tragematopolist there hoping for gain.
Into the vacivity the ghouls came
Misqueme their one sole aim
Pigritude in the ghoulish clan
Utible stuff to make a plan
Spiscious foam covered the ground
No more tristifical covering to be found
Suffarcinate it into nubivagant like bags
Tenellous candy from the hags

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Mystery Theater

2009-11-03T01:00:00.000-08:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.

Mystery Theater

Welcome my dear reader to another exciting episode of “Spider Web Mystery Theater”
This is the place where the supernatural becomes the natural and you could become a frog.
As we open our creaking door we see Emma and Ella
Twin sisters on their way to the Halloween Concert of Ghouls at the somewhat scary Community Concert Hall.Tonight we are told odd mannequins will walk among the audience.
Who knows what they will do.
There will be vampires and werewolves and evil things that go bump in the night.
But most frightening of all this man
The long dead serial killer of old ladies will suddenly appear. He , now one of the long undead dead, will kill again.
But our two ladies are not afraid. They stopped in the lobby and armed themselves with a supply of magic bubble gum.It is guaranteed to keep all supernatural things away and our ladies are chewing up a storm.
The show begins, lightning flashes, strange things walk among the audience and stranger things play eerie music on stage.
When it over our friends Emma and Ella have disappeared . They will never be seen again.
Before we close the creaking door let us remind you that no matter what it says on the machine bubble gum does not protect against the undead. ( Maniacal laugh is heard as sound of the creaking door fills the air)

Raven's Challenge 87

2009-10-31T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: plumber, autograph, Florence Nightengale, a chill wind’s a blowing, watering hole, sleek, triplets, backwards, surface tension, parrot
And for the mini: Free estimates,French fries, carpet, Braille, silver-tongued bandit

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

It has been a hard week for Agent 012. He has been to a small town in Michigan called Pigeon Falls where he was just hours behind the international terrorist Haz-mat. There some lady named Nancy wanted him to stay while she printed out his picture and had him autograph it. She had never seen a green man before.
Then he was in New Jersey where it was discovered that shortly before he arrived Haz-mat had purchased a number of small pipe sections just right for pipe bombs. In the shop a parrot kept saying “ a chill wind’s a blowing over the old watering hole.” The constant repetition made him nervous.
A matchbook left at the plumber's shop offering free estimates on carpets took him to the Florence Nightengale carpet shop. There the owner Augustus Braille told him that Haz-mat had purchased a small length of sleek carpet.
He gave him a real buy on it because the weave was backwards. It meant the surface tension on the rug would attract dirt instead of repel it. But Haz-mat didn’t seem to care.
After the carpet shop he took a break at the Silver Tongued Bandit Restaurant and had a hamburger and French Fries. He called home and found out his sister had delivered triplets. He certainly didn’t expect that.
But now he had to face the fact that there was terrorist with all the supplies he needed to make a number of pipe bombs. This was getting scary.
At that point he got a call saying that Haz-mat’s car had been sighted in front of the Almost True Hardware Store.
“Timers”, Agent 012 thought.” He still needs timers.”
This did not look like a good day for our somewhat green agent.

The ten word challenge-Cabin Delivery ?

Lilly watched the bug walk backwards on the water. She had read somewhere that it was surface tension that made the bug’s walking like that possible. Henry Plumber said “ Wrap yourself in a blanket dear a chill wind’s a blowing.” She didn’t want a blanket she wanted Florence Nightengale to come and hold her hand while she had the baby.
This was the last place in the world she wanted to be when the baby came. At least she wasn’t having triplets like her sister.
If only she hadn’t pushed Henry to take her to Mudville to get that autograph of Fransico Parrot. It sure didn’t seem important now. Then she let Henry talk her into stopping at the cabin by the watering hole to make sure it was ready for deer season. Who could have known the car would get stuck and strand them there? He had, of course, left his sleek new mobile phone at home which left no way to call for help.
Henry settled her in the one big soft chair and covered her with his warmest blanket. Then he made a roaring fire in the big old wood stove. When it was really burning well he threw in a couple of logs that looked pretty wet and closed the stove door. Then he went outside and she heard him climbing on the roof. About a half hour later he came back into the cabin smiling and about a half hour after that the rangers came.
“Yep!, I still know Morse code “, he said.

The mini challenge- Silver Tongue Indeed

Paul Plumber was often called the silver-tongued bandit because of his ability to get ridiculous amounts for the stuff he sold at his store “ Everything and the Kitchen Sink”. For example he sold a wooden plate of wooden French fries, each one hand painted, for $ 80. And he sold a worn welcome carpet that said “ WELCOME we give FREE ESTIMATES for $ 159. But perhaps the best example of his ability is his selling a pile of Braille books to a gentleman who couldn’t read Braille and wasn’t blind. He got $205.10 for the pile. He convinced the man, a Doctor that he should put them in his waiting room as a service to his blind patients.
Paul always greeted new customers with the of the story of his birth , only slightly embellished. It seems he was born in a cabin in the far North. His parents were trapped there by a blizzard. When the blizzard ended his father climbed up on the roof of the cabin and using his jacket to cover and uncover the stove pipe sent an SOS that was read by the Ranger Station. The Ranger came through the snow with a dog sled and arrived just in time to deliver the baby. His mother said that just as his head came into sight the sun broke through the clouds and a ray of light like a halo shown upon his head. She knew right then he was blessed by God so she called him Paul after the great apostle.
The story was only slightly embellished if you ignore the fact that his birth certificate says he was born in the Mudville hospital with Dr. Raymond Pullman in attendance.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash 55-Mary Poppins

2009-10-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

Mary Poppins traveled to Hollywood, where she opened a shop on Sunset Boulevard as a fortune-teller.

She always received a very strong premonition whenever someone was about to have an onset of bad breath. In order to publicize her success at this, she had a sign above her door,

reading: Super California Mystic Expert Halitosis.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the thirtieth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood.

The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Good King Underwear had his throne back but with the loss of the Gray Knight only 3 Knights were left. In the First Chair was the Knight in Shining Armour. In the second the Knight with one leg and one arm. Sir Laughsalot was still assigned the twelfth chair. It was a very lonely square table.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 34

2009-10-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:

The 3WT #34 words will be:suffarcinate; spiscious; & tristifical
All of Quilly's words may be found HERE

Light at Last?

Detective Mallory looked at his tristifical clue board that had lead to his days of grieving. But now he had added another board and suffarcinated it with new clues. There were the phone records of the three victims. There was the common number that appeared on all three sets of records in both their incoming and outgoing calls.
Mallory felt really alive as some things began to come together. The number belonged to the “ Ostrich Development Corporation”. The owner of that corporation was hidden . It was owned by a dummy corporation that was owned by a dummy corporation. Somebody was covering his tracks well.
So Mallory called in some favors and finally ended up with the name of the one man on top the pyramid . It was Alexander Foxco, the great Oil Tycoon.
Then Mallory went to the jail to talk to Josh. He asked him if there was oil on his property. Josh said “ I don’t think so unless that spiscious dark stuff that floats on the little pond is oil.
Now Mallory was sure he knew the killer or at least who paid the killer but proving it was something else. All the potential witnesses were the victims . Everything he had was conjecture.
But he went to the DA anyway. She laughed at him. Told him his friendship was clouding his judgment. She was going ahead and putting Josh on trial.
Going back to the office and acting on a gut level hunch he pulled the DA’s phone records., which if she ever fpound out would give her ample cause to fire him.
But what he expected to find he found. Now he needed a plan.

To be continued next Thursday
########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

A Sad Goodbye

It was a tristifical day in the neighborhood
Mr. Rogers was gone for good
Suffarcinated his train and rode away
Spiscious tears were shed that day
His risible words no longer spoken
Our little hearts were broken
On that really hitonious day
When Mr. Rogers went away

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 86

2009-10-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: Incensed, sidewinder, bogus, conniption, Haz-mat, conniving, customize, perforated, zeal, rolling off a log
And for the mini: abstemious, chlorophyll, origami, cheerleader, dung beetle

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 still a light green was called into the Agency. Homeland Security wants them to help in finding Nazeeh Haz-mat
A leading terrorist who is now rumored to be in the United States. It is believed he is here conniving to purchase a sidewinder missile from an illegal arms dealer. He is described as having the zeal of a cheerleader trying to change the momentum of the game. He has the tattoo of a dung beetle on his left arm just below the elbow. He has an abstemious diet free of alcohol and fat foods and has suffered from a perforated ulcer. He can customize a disguise as easy as rolling off a log. But sometimes you can see through his bogus identity because he absentmindedly makes little origami dung beetles. He is known as becoming easily incensed and may throw a conniption fit if crossed. At such times he kills and leaves no witnesses.
Agent 012 looked at the description and thought “This is a guy you want to send an agent as green as chlorophyll out after. I wonder what he thinks of green people?’
They set Agent 012 up as an illegal arms dealer in New York and let out the word he had a contact with a sidewinder missile supplier.
Now he had to wait and see what happens.
It might even be a good day.

The ten word challenge-Truth Above All

The head of the local Haz-mat team became incensed almost to the point of having a conniption as he analyzed the soil around the former sidewinder missile plant. Ted was not just another government bureaucrat but a committed ecologist who brought real zeal to the job. He knew that the owners of the plant were conniving with some of his superiors to “customize” the report so everything would look better than it was. They wanted him to turn in bogus figures. It would be as easy as rolling off a log they said. But not for him. He believed in truth and the public’s right to know.
But now he was angry and scared. He had received a picture of himself in the mail perforated with a hundred little holes and the words scrawled across the front “the truth can kill.”
He thought for a long time and then he dialed the local TV station. “I have an important story for you”, he began but at that point the phone went dead and the lights flickered out.
The found his body the next day . He was shot in the head and his apartment was ransacked.
Two days later his agency submitted the bogus report complete with the made up numbers.

The mini challenge- Truth Wins

The manager of WWTT TV opened the box that came to him in the morning mail the top part of the box was filled with dozens of chlorophyll colored origami dung beetles. He hoped this was not another add for some abstemious diet product or book. He hated it when they wanted him to be a cheerleader for those things. Removing the dung beetles he found a letter from his friend Ted. The station had just done a piece on his murder telling how the police had no clues and no leads.
Below the letter were recordings and video tapes, copies of lab tests and a password to a secret website.
The editor of the local paper had received a similar package.
That night both the Station and the paper broke the story. The story of cover ups and lies. The story of approval by high ranking officials of patently illegal acts.
Out of the expose came indictments, prison sentences and the beginning of the clean up of the site.
Ted’s killing was traced to a man hired by his boss to shut him up at all costs. Both the killer and the boss were tried and convicted.
The town had a martyr that would be remembered for years. He gave up his life for the truth.

The Conductor

2009-10-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

It was the last performance of the season,

Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, which required extra effort from the basses at the end.

They were all plastered.

Then he knocked over his music stand.

As he stood in front of his orchestra,

it was the bottom of the 9th, no score and the basses were loaded.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty ninth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood. The ballad of the throne taken from the palace archives.
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

The Gray Knight sat in his thatched roof cottage drinking beer.
Above him, in the loft, he had stowed the king's precious golden throne.
He was laughing when the ceiling gave way and the throne crushed him to death.
There is a moral to this story
People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Mallory crawls on

2009-10-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:

The 3WT #33 words will be: maleolent; xenization; & pigritude.
All of Quilly's words may be found HERE

Detective Mallory sat in his office head in hand. His friend Josh had been indicted and now the local paper was calling for a quick trial. The entire episode had a maleolent feel about it. There had been no pigritude on the part of his men or himself but still he had made no breakthrough . One might even dare to say he didn’t have a clue. He was missing something. He had to be.
That’s when he had one of those light bulb moments. “Motive” he thought. “ Where’s the motive? If somebody was out to frame Josh what was their motive?”
He went down to the jail to question Josh. He explained to Josh that this was an official questioning and he could have his lawyer present if he desired.
Josh explained that he didn’t have a lawyer yet. He was going to have to sell his house to get a good lawyer. He went on to say he should have sold it when investment broker Hudson Smith offered him twice as much as it was worth. Now he would be lucky to get full value out of it.
Mallory immediately asked when the offer had been made for the house and was told three weeks before all this nonsense began. He had called every day for a week hoping Josh would change his mind.
Then Judge Woody called and told him they might have to condemn his place for some legal reason or another. Josh told him he would take his chances in court.
Mallory then asked if anybody else was interested in the house. Josh said that the bank President himself had called saying it was the ideal place for a summer house and offering him more than Hudson Smith.
At the end of the questioning Mallory felt better . In fact for the first time in weeks he lost his feeling of xenization.

To be continued next Thursday

########################################################

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

Death

The final road to death is one of xenization.
The thought of which leads to frustration
It is not pigritude that pulls you down
Wrapped in a maleolent hospital gown
Your mind now filled with divagations
Living on hitonious inter-venous rations
It would be risable, it really would
If laugh through the pain we could
Murklins we move ourselves along
Until we hear the mellifluous song
Then comes the isangelous voice
Alone no more we rejoice.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Idioms Galore

2009-10-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts these picture idioms.

Hit the Books
Means to study extra hard, especially for a test.

Pick up your ears.
Means to listen very carefully.

Since this is the last day and I have one left over I am putting that one up as well...

Keep your chin up.
Means to remain joyful in a tough situation.

Thank you Jientje for hosting this meme.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

A Fairy Story ?

2009-10-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Check in there to find other Portrait of Words stories.

A Priest that Listens

Father Alstair W. Muggins looked out the window of his new home.

From there he could see the fine old church of which he was now the rector.
And beyond that the cemetery.
From the window on the other side he could see the Greek temple like edifice built by some past king and now part of the public park system.
Everything seemed so ideal that he had no idea why he was here. His job was to help troubled parishes. This one had gone through three priests in two years, one had left the priesthood and two were receiving psychiatric treatment.
But everything seemed fine. He had met with the Vestry and they were fine reasonable people except for the question of night meetings and night services. They told him that once the sun sets nobody will come anywhere near the Church. It seems there is some kind of monster under the old stone bridge that that leads over the creek and into the cemetery and it comes out at night.
So he did what any rational priest would do he went and sat on the bridge as it got dark. Soon there was an odd noise and then a little three foot creature stood before him.
But instead of running away or screaming he said to the creature " What are you? You aren't a Troll, a Gremlin, a Fairy, an Elf, A Leprechaun , or even a Drow. So why are you running around scaring my people?"
The little being answered , " My father was a fairy and my mother was a troll. I suppose that makes me a faool or a trairy. I got lonely after a hundred years of living alone under the bridge. I just want somebody to talk to."
Father Alstair smiled for he was a very good listener. He made a deal with Durban , that was the name of the faool . He would sit down to tea with him in the rectory every Tuesday and Saturday night if he would cease all other apperances. With great joy Durban accepted.
Father then invited the congregation to an exercism on the old bridge and promised there would be no more monsters.
He was indeed the right man for the job thanks to his mother reading him all those fairy stories when he was young and teaching him about the little folk.
Someday he would have to invite some of his fairy friends from his last parish to meet Durban.

Of course the troublesome dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 85

2009-10-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: early morning light, Pinocchio, mist, leaves, sandy, coffee, walking, traffic, pray, stomach
And for the mini: train, art, admirable, cotton, fluffy

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

In the early morning light Agent 012 looked less like a green man from space and more like a sick human being as he had breakfast coffee with his wife. Soon his boys would be getting up and his stomach knotted up at the thought.
“It’s a good job” he thought.” that I’m not Pinocchio as my nose would be ten feet long with all the lies I need to tell to explain why I’m green.” He had concocted a story about touching something in the basement of the store where he worked and had caught a fungus infection that turned him green. Then before they could really think it through he would offer to take them to the carnival where they could ride the rides and get some fluffy cotton candy. He was admirable in his ability to lie , for him it was a real art. Still he thought that he should pray that the boys will believe him. So he did.
By the time the boys got up the morning mist had lifted and he could see the sandy spots in the back yard where lawn was supposed to be. He couldn’t remember which boy was supposed to have fixed those while he was gone but this was not the time to holler at them. He leaves the entire problem for a time when he will no longer be green.
Traffic was sparse in the morning and soon they were walking around the carnival grounds. The younger son wanted to ride he train that went all the way around the carnival passing through several fake tunnels. The older boy wanted to ride the rides that cause adults to heave. Both got what they wanted.
The boys were having a great time but Agent 012 was getting snide comments like “ Hey buddy you escape from the freak show?” and “ Where did you park your saucer”. He was so happy when it was time to go home.
But on the way a policeman stopped him for driving too fast and asked to see his driver's license. He was then told to get out of the car as the man on the license wasn’t green.
This was not going to be his day.

The ten word challenge-Bad Morning

Wilhelm V. Pinocchio or Sandy as his friends called him was having coffee when the phone rang. The message he received caused his eyes to mist . He rushed out into the early morning light waking as fast as he could to the car. As he leaves he begins to pray that traffic will be light so he can reach her before she dies. His stomach churns as he thinks of Nancy, the love of his life, falling from her balcony to the ground below. Every bone broken the hospital said. No chance of recovery the hospital said. Would die soon the hospital said.
He picked up speed. He had to get there. He had to tell her he loved her. He was so glad that traffic was moving so fast.

The mini challenge- A New Begining

It was the worst accident in the history of the county, fifty five injured , twenty seven dead, thirty one cars involved. The freeway was filled with commuters rushing to meet the Bluebird Morning Special train. It was always on time and it never waited for anybody , not even the regulars. In some sense they were to blame for the accident. The city’s leading art critic died that morning on his way to work. He left a wife and three kids.
The response of the emergency center was admirable. Two helicopters hauled the living, as soon as they were located, to the nearest hospital. Ambulances arrived to take the less badly injured to the hospital as well. It was some time before the dead were removed.
He awoke feeling like he was floating on fluffy cotton, the result of the shot the nurse gave him to kill his pain. They had decided when he was brought in that he had no chance so they made him as comfortable as possible and moved him into a room with another dying patient. They figured she wouldn’t mind and they needed every space in the emergency room for the ones that could be helped.
He forced his eyes to open and he looked over at the bed next to his. Nancy he said and extend an arm.
Sandy she said pushing her broken bones to make contact. They joined hands and together they died.
Their entwined souls rose slowly from their bodies moving toward heaven.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

A Laughing 55

2009-10-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

Flash Fiction 55
Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.Here is today's story:

George wanted his friends to laugh.
He really did.
Laughter he heard was good medicine and his friends were always sick.
So he thought and thought then sent ten different puns to his friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Very sadly
no pun in ten did.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty sixth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood. The ballad of the throne taken from the palace archives.
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

King Underware looked for his chair
For his Golden Throne not there
Such a thing who would dare?
Made the great King start to swear
Scream and holler pull his hair
But our sneaky Knight didn't care
He took it to his lair
Stowed it in the attic square
It's more than Laughsalot can bear

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE HERE.

Mallory Works On

2009-10-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:

The 3WT #30 words will be: tenellous; utible; & nubivagant.
All of Quilly's words may be found HERE

Detective Mallory watched as the hang glider flew like a nubivagant bird over the courthouse. For a moment it took his mind off the fact the DA had told him to go ahead with his investigation as it might make her case more utible but she was going ahead with the indictment of Josh. He was at the courthouse to present evidence that would lead to that indictment. He didn’t want to be there Josh was one of his oldest fiends and he had a tenellous spot for the guy but you did what the job required. If he wanted to help Josh it would not be by preventing an indictment but by finding out who did the murder before the trial and he fully intended to do that.
Judith had given him a description of the guy who paid her in cash to chase Josh. He had her sit down with an artist friend, they didn’t have a police sketch artist, and she described him and the artist tried to sketch the man from her description. The results were not at all promising.
But then Mallory remembered the guy had approached her in the bar and the bar had security cameras. If he was lucky he might get a look at him on the tape from that day. He immediately went to the bar and pulled the tape for the day of the supposed meeting . He was in luck. There was the man meeting with Judith and the picture was clear enough for an identification. The identification came as a real shock. It was the third victim the investment broker Hudson Smith. Whoever was behind all of this had tied up a loose end.
Detective Mallory was back to square one. He had not a single clue as to who was behind all of this. His crime board had lots of things on it but he couldn’t put them together in any way that pointed to the killer.
He decided he needed to clear his head so he went for a walk which just happened to end at the tragematopolist where he bought a pound of head clearing chocolates.
There had to be something he was missing.
To be continued next Thursday

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

At Last He Flies

A utible thing a glider is
This one was really his
His nubivagant dreams
And his flying schemes
Were coming true
Soaring in the blue
This despite his tenellous butt
And the feeling in his gut

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Drops of Idioms

2009-10-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts these picture idioms.

I dropped everything today and worked on these idioms.

A Drop in the Bucket:

A very small part of something big or whole.

Origin:From the Bible, Isaiah 40:15 (King James Version):
"Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, he taketh up the isles as a very little thing."

At The Drop Of A Hat:

Willing to do something immediately.

Origin:his phrase probably alludes to signaling the start of a race or other contest by dropping a hat. [Late 1800s]

The dragons decided to try this today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 84

2009-10-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: plaster, cottage cheese, hallowed, hard working, food for thought, blood drive, broken finger, ceiling fan, pastry chef, production
And for the mini: the sky is falling, variations on a theme, bravery, powder puff, empty soda bottles

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Knowing that you only have a couple hours to live can cause the mind to become crystal clear and it certainly did for Agent 012. Left not right he thought and stamped his left foot down so hard that the plaster on the ceiling of the room below shook and the ceiling fan broke loose. In the room where he was prisoner the cottage cheese and the empty soda bottles jiggled off the corner table unto the floor.
From the end of his shoe a tiny dart flew into the leg of the CEO killer and down he went.
Then he banged his left elbow against the chair and hollered “ Agent in need of assistance. Butterfly poison.” then he waited.
Now his head was spinning and he thought “ the sky is falling” as he began to pass out. Just then the door burst open and two agents entered the room and rushed over to give him a shot of the antidote to the poison.
Two hours later he was standing at the Agency receiving another medal for bravery and being pointed to as what a hard working Agent should be like. Please note that was be like and not look like.
In the holding cell downstairs the CEO killer was threatening to sue over the broken finger he got when he passed out and was demanding a lawyer. He probably wouldn’t volunteer to take part in the Agency blood drive in place of Agent 012 who couldn’t until both poison and antidote had cleared his blood stream. But they would ask him anyway as it would give him food for thought. It might even shut him up for a while.
Agent 012 was supposed to go with his wife to a Powder Puff production “ The Hallowed Halls of the Pastry Chef” this evening but he was not sure she would want to go with a green man.. The production was one of four variations on a theme being done by Powder Puff. The theme being murder.
If the green wore off fast enough he could take her to one of the others.
Except for being green it was not a bad day.

The ten word challenge- Hallowed Ground

The plaster was falling off the wall in places in the little cottage where the hard working old pastry chef lived. It was hot and the ceiling fan had long ago ceased working. He had never really looked at his cottage before as he worked all day and into the night. He was at home now only because he had a broken finger which prevented the production of his masterpieces. As he ate his simple meal of ham and cottage cheese he had both time and food for thought.
Why didn’t he retire? He had more than enough money in the bank. He could move away and buy a decent house. He could live the comfortable life. He might even teach cooking classes at some two year college. Why did he stay here ?
Even as he asked the questions he knew the answer. He stayed because this was hallowed ground. His father's father’s father was born here as was each subsequent father . He was born here. His son was born here. Of course his wife had taken the kid and left saying she couldn’t live in a dump like this. So he could be the last.
Tomorrow he would go and give blood at the blood drive then come back to the cottage. He would check and make sure the will could be found and then take the poison. He would die here.

The mini challenge- The Cycle of Life

Nicholas Thromby the 8th was as lazy a man as one could find anywhere. He had tried writing but his book “ Variations on a Theme-The Sky is Falling” never found a publisher. He was so desperate that he went to see the lawyer about his grandfather’s will. Living in that stupid cottage looked better and better. According to the will each month he lived in the cottage he would get a substantial allowance. He needed the money and if it took this extreme act of bravery to get it he was willing. His own father had disowned him calling him a lazy no good powder puff. But his family could be good for something.
The first month he moved into the cottage he paid to have it cleaned. All of the empty soda bottles were taken away. He wondered how much soda did his grandfather drink anyway.
The next month he had the walls replastered.
The month after that he pulled the ceiling fan and put in an air-conditioning system. If he had to live there he could be comfortable.
At that point he explained to his live in girl friend that if they married and she had a child in the cottage the allowance would be greatly increased. So they married and had a child. It was a wonderful little boy.
They hired a nanny to take care of it and for fourteen days each month they traveled and had fun. The little boy grew and finding his great grandfather’s recipes and with nothing else to do he became a great pastry cook. He loved the little cottage and treated it as hallowed ground. He knew the family history by heart. When his parents died in the crash he continued to live there.
The plaster was falling off the wall in places in the little cottage where the old pastry cook lived. It was hot and the air conditioning had long ago ceased to work. He had never really looked at the cottage before as he worked all day and into the night. He was at home now only because he had a broken arm which prevented the production of his masterpieces. As he ate his simple meal of ham and cottage cheese he had both time and food for thought. ……...

And like his great grandfather he would die there.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Realy Important man-55

2009-10-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

The Really Important Man

He worked with some of the best weekly programs.
Usually you only read his name in the credits.

But he was on the Letterman show talking to the star.

He had the star in stitches.

He was very, very good at what he did.

His work made the show.

He was a truly great

tailor.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty sixth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot knows who is robbing the castle of good King Underwear
Tis another noble Knight.
The knight robs by dark of night.
But Sir Laughsalot will never tell.
He is prevented by the code.
It is an ancient code.
Every knight is bound by it.
It is the code of the thin metal line.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly 3WT #31

2009-10-08T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:

The 3WT #31 words will be: misqueme; tragematopolist; & vacivity

The story to this point is here

Poor Detective Mallory was upset by the vacivity in his head where there should be solutions. He knew his friend Josh was innocent but everything pointed to his guilt. He didn’t want to openly misqueme the DA but she had ordered him to end his investigation and he just couldn't. But now he was keeping things as quiet as possible.
On his way to interview Judith for the second time he stopped at the tragematopolist to feed his one addiction. He just loved candy, any kind of candy. It relaxed his mind or at least that’s what he had convinced himself. Today he picked up a pound of really good chocolates which were almost gone by the time he reached Judith’s modest little home.
She seemed surprised to see him. “ I thought the case was pretty much closed .” she said.
“ That’s before I discovered you weren’t altogether honest with me.” he responded.
Then he went on to tell her he knew of her bacchante. reputation and that she was better known as Mellisa. He explained to her that lying to a police officer could cause her some real trouble.
At that point she broke down crying. “ It wasn’t my idea “ , she sobbed.” This guy came to me in the bar and offered me good money to quit the bar, change back to my real name, and chase Josh. It was more money than I ever had so I agreed . What would you expect me to do. Besides he said my chasing Josh would give the poor guy an alibi when he needed one. I didn’t know people were going to get murdered.”
On the way back to the office he stopped at the tragematopolist and got another pound of chocolates. He was going to need them. The vacivity in his head was filling up. But the new information could both hurt and help Josh. He needed to do a full investigation of the mysterious man who paid off Judith. But to do so he had to openly pursue the case and that would misqueme his boss the DA. He needed to convince the DA that this new evidence could help cement her case if they could show that Josh had arranged an alibi.
To be continued next Thursday.

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel. Here then is today's quivel.

When Thin is Bad

The poor old tragematopolist
Could no longer exist
In a world where candy
Was a misqueme not dandy
They really hated him
A world set on thin
This vacivity of mind
To him was not kind

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Apple Chips

2009-10-07T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts these picture idioms.

Apple of My Eye:
Someone who is cherished above all others.
( Which of course is Betty)

The saying originally meant the central aperture of the eye, presumably because apples were the most common sphere-shaped object around.
It first appeared in Old English in work attributed to King Aelfred (the Great) of Wessex, AD 885, called Gregory's Pastoral Care.

and

A Chip On Your Shoulder:
Being upset for something that happened in the past.
The phrase 'a chip on one's shoulder' is reported as originating with the nineteenth century U.S. practice of spoiling for a fight by carrying a chip of wood on one's shoulder, daring others to knock it off.

Portrait of Words-# 18

2009-10-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

It was a foggy day on the mountain

when little Amanda Rathers
decided to go looking for a rainbow and its treasure.

She knew it was out there somewhere because her grandfather or Gruump as she called him had told her it was and he never , ever, lied. He was the greatest man in the world and had even flown over the farm in hot air balloon
and had waved to her. As she started on her adventure she wished she had a balloon like that.
She had hear her daddy talking about how money was short and he couldn't get the new buildings he really needed

so she was going to find the treasure for him. She really wanted daddy to be happy. At first she thought of selling her little brother but her parents seemed to like him.

So she gave up that idea and decided to find the treasure.
She had gone as far as the fence when the old owl hooted and she ran back to the house.
Perhaps tomorrow if the sun was shining and the fog was gone she would try again.
Her grandfather who had watched her go to the fence and run back turned to her father and said " Don't you ever wonder what goes on in the little head of hers?"

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 83

2009-10-03T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: family, cheese cake, 20 years ago, refrigerator, laugh and the world laughs with you, bath brush, zombies, African violets, butterflies, holding hands
And for the mini: monsters in the closet, roughly, bowling, menu, Pennsylvania

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

The feeling past over and Agent 012 stamped his right foot down roughly. The man with the gun looked at him as if he was crazy .
“ This is the way you face a man with a gun?” he asked “ By stamping your foot. I suppose if you had a bath brush you would try to hit me with it.” He started to laugh.
Agent 012 was trying to remember the menu of devices that could protect him but all he could think of was “ Laugh and the world laughs with you” . Which, of course, was as much use to him as a handful of African Violets.
The man lead him down the hall to his room. There he fastened Agent 012 securely to a chair. “Now I have to decide how to kill you “ he said reaching into the refrigerator for a piece of cheese cake. “ I need to add a nice new bauble to my chain. If I boil these butterflies it will produce a poison that will not only kill you but cause you to turn bright green. A little butterfly would make a nice bauble.”
Agent 012 asked “ Why are you doing this? I never hurt you.”
“ Twenty Years Ago, I started working for a company in Pennsylvania. Over the years I worked hard and advanced in job positions. Thenthe last year the Company got a new CEO. He treated us all like zombies. He drove us hard trying to maximize production. All of the workers really tried . We loved that company. But three years ago I had some family problems .My wife was having a psychotic breakdown and seeing monsters in the closet with bowling balls. She was happiest when we sat holding hands. So I asked for a months leave of absence to sit with her. The CEO laughed at me. I was told to work or look for another job. The bills were piling up so I worked. My wife killed herself while I was working. He was the first CEO that I killed. Then I went back to law school. Now I figure all CEO’s are the same and the only good CEO is a dead one.”
“The poison is ready “, he said. “ Time for you to drink up”.
He forced Agent 012 to drink the stuff in the cup. Slowly Agent o12 began to turn a bright green. “Enjoy the color” He said,” It will be several hours before you die.
This did not look like a great day for Agent 012.

The ten word challenge- Wonderful Days

Twenty years ago they were young and in love. They sat for long periods just holding hands and laughing. Their moto was laugh and the world laughs with you and they believed it. They didn’t have much then, a piece of cheese cake in the refrigerator, a single bath brush in the shower, and a pot of African Violets in the living room. For recreation they went to cheep movies about zombies and found them funny or went to the park and watched the butterflies. Still it was a wonderful time and they were part of a much larger family. Today as they celebrated twenty years of married life they gave thanks for those wonderful, simple days.

The mini challenge- Monsters in the Closet

The story is told by a roughly dressed old man that in a bowling alley in a little town in Pennsylvania there is a closet that nobody ever opens. Attached to the door is an old menu on which somebody scrawled “ Stay out there are monsters in the closet.”. It is said if you listen you can hear growling, moaning, and chains banging. Everybody says that it is so much nonsense but nobody ever opens the door.
Well that is nobody that we know of. It is said that a stranger went into the alley after it was closed for the purpose of opening the closet door and was never seen again. But they don’t know if he opened the door or not. He might have just got scared and left town rather than be laughed at.
In any case that’s the story the old guy tells.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Undeserved Pain

2009-10-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

Real Undeserved Pain

He banged his head on the wall.
He pounded his fist on the keyboard.
He cried.
He hollered.
He said the words ma never let him say.
But still emptiness.
Still loads and loads of nothing,
It was almost time.
It was time.

He still didn't have a single idea for a
..
..
..
..
.

..

Flash fifty five.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty fifth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Someone was robbing the Good King's castle.
Things were vanishing.
The King's gold was part of those things.
Good King Underwear was devastated.
Squires were accused and some were driven out.
But the robbery went on.
Could it be a Knight of the Square Table?

Sir Laughsalot knows but he is only laughing not telling.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Lots Of Quilly Words

2009-10-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s words for the day and write a story
Quilly said to pick our own words from the list of words already given. I choose one for each letter of the alphabet were there are words. There were no words starting with L,K, W, OR X.

Acrasia, bacchante, cynicocratical, divagations, ebullient, fracas , Glabrous, hitonious, isangelous, jussulent , mariturient , nescience, opprobrious, phalerae , quibbleism, rogitate, summotion ,tenebrous, uxorious, veteratorian, zoloist

You can get meanings by clicking HERE

Detective Mallory , having just returned from breaking up a fracas at O’Mally’s Bar could not be said to be in an ebullient mood. In fact if you asked him to describe his day he would have said hitonious, absolutely hitonious .
First his cynicocratical DA was pushing him to close the case on the phalerae murders as she already had enough evidence to convict Josh. She even accused Mallory of quibbleism. If ever there was a zoilist it was the DA.
Second his questioning of Judith the mariturient stalker of Josh had turned up no new information. She had simply repeated that she believed that Josh would make a really uxorious husband.
Third he was fully aware that his nescience could send Josh to jail.
He was glad he didn’t suffer from acrasia because if ever he needed a level head it was now as the future of his friend depended on it. He could afford no divagations from that task.
That’s when he got his first break. His glabrous deputy as opposed to the one with the full head of hair saw the picture of Judith on the data board. He recognized her as a woman who was known in the local bar scene as a bacchante. And she used the name Mellisa not Judith.
If the deputy was right why was she now calling herself Judith and pretending to be in love with Josh? He would need to go back and question her again. She was not the isangelous person she had pretended to be but rather one guilty of opprobrious conduct.
It was also time to ignore what he thought he knew and do some thinking outside the box.
Wonder if none of the victims were the real target. Wonder if Josh was the real target. Somebody needed to frame Josh. But why? Why not just kill him and add him to the list of victims ? Was there really such a veteratorian person? What is really going on? How does Judith fit in? In this process he would rogitate the same questions.
Now he needed a nice jussulent bowl and some quiet time which meant the summotion of himself from the office. Just the thought of the soup ended his tenebrous mood.
To be continued next Thursday

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel.

Saved by the Brawl

At the center of the fracas in the bar
Was the glabrous man with the scar
Hitonious might have been his fate
At the hands of his mariturient date.
Bacchanate was more his style
Arcasia had her brother Qyle
Nescience of his sisters faults
Uxorious her his reason halts
Isangelous one she appears to him
Oh his face is tenebrous grim
Veteraratorian he will never be
Opprobrious conduct is what we see
a jussulent bowl on him gets poured
A divigation he can’t afford
Eubbilent police arrested all
Cynicocratical DA made them crawl.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Food Idioms

2009-09-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts these picture idioms.

The Last Straw

When one small burden after another creates an unbearable situation, the last straw is the last small burden that one can take.

Can't Cut the Mustard

Someone who isn't adequate enough to compete or participate is said not to be able to cut the mustard.

** No mustard bottles were in any way injured when making this picture.

Raven's Challenge 82

2009-09-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be:Tibetan sky, symbols, won’t you come home Bill Baily, shadow figures, brain cortex, practice makes perfect, life, start of school, lavender, chow down
And for the mini: mental hospital, falling leaves, apple cider, packing crates, clues

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

For three days Agent 012 had lived the life the part of a CEO of a big company. On the wall behind his desk was the company motto “ Clean as a Tibetan sky”. The engine he supposedly manufactured put out no C02 and thus would change everything. Of course there was no such engine it was all part of a Agency trap. But as of this moment he didn’t have any clues as to the identity of the CEO killer or killers. They remained shadow figures lurking somewhere in the back of Agent 012’s mind. In the belief that practice makes perfect he went over again all they knew about the killings. One CEO had been shot, one cut in half with a chain saw and put in two packing crates, one had a hot wire pushed into his brain cortex, one was stabbed and left to be covered by falling leaves, and one was drowned in apple cider , loaded in a lavender barrel and delivered to a mental hospital. As he thought about the list Agent 012 felt just a twinge of fear.
It was time to eat or as his son referred to it chow down time so Agent 012 took the elevator to the first floor cafeteria . In the elevator “won’t you come home Bill Baily” was playing on the elevator music system. Suddenly the elevator stopped on the fourth floor when the door opened a man with a gun was standing there and our Agent had the same feeling he used to get at the start of school. On the man’s wrist was a bracelet of symbols with a miniature chain saw, cider keg, packing crate, gun, and leaf.
Agent 012 had a feeling this was not going to be his day.

The ten word challenge- Good Song

It was just a week before the start of school when the problems started. Bart had signed on as a judge of the local Art Explosion and was looking at a canvas called “Tibetan Sky” done in shades of lavender as it began. First he heard somebody singing “ Won’t you come home again Bill Baily” but when he commented on it the other judges looked at him as if was insane. Then he saw the shadow figures in the paintings and told Anna they must be life symbols. Anna became worried as she saw no such figures.
When it came time to chow down Bart’s friends from the Practice Makes Perfect Art Group talked to him about seeing a Doctor.
At first he resisted but they pushed and finally he went. They discovered he had a marble size tumor pressing on his brain cortex. Within the week surgery was performed and the tumor removed. His friends had saved his life.
He says he is thankful for their intervention but he does sort of miss that rendition of “ Won’t you come home again”.

The mini challenge- The Great Cider Robbery

It was Fall and time for kids to play in the falling leaves but the famous Detective Josh Armourall was busy looking for clues. He had checked the apple cider jug for fingerprints but there weren’t any. He looked with great care at the packing crates that had been smashed open to get at the jugs. They were of no real value either. Josh felt horrible as it looked like the apple cider thieves might get away with a perfect crime. He who had solved the most complicated of murders was now stumped by a minor robbery at a mental hospital.
He was there by invitation of his good friend Oliver who was the director of the place. He thought it would be an easy crime to solve just one walk through the patient rooms until he smelled the cider but it hadn’t worked that way. He had gone through every room and hadn’t smelled one drop of cider. Now he was being summoned on the loudspeaker to the cafeteria. He hated to go and report he had found nothing.
Entering the cafeteria he saw a pile of cider jugs and a big sign that said “ Happy Birthday Josh”.
It was the only way his friend could get him to come to the party.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

55-Enslav

2009-09-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

Enslaved

It put him down.
It kept him down.
He felt oppressed.
He tried to right the situation
He tried to set himself and others free.
He knew that some had succeeded.
Some had broken loose.
He saw them on TV in their freedom.
He was forever doomed to be held down.
He couldn't escape

Gravity

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty fourth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot had stopped laughing .
In fact he was crying.
He could not ride a six inch horse.
He could ride a large frog, a giraffe, and perhaps a snail but not a six inch horse.
The incompetent wizard Moreless waved his hand again.
Puff. The real horse was back.
And laughter returned to Laughsalot..

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly's Words

2009-09-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:
obstrigillate ;ossifragant ;mariturient

It had been four days since the body of investment broker Hudson Smith was found out at Detective Mallory’s good friend Josh Brannigan’s place. Now somebody called the DA’s office and said they saw Josh’s truck on the road out to the house. The DA ordered Detective Mallory to arrest him, now! Mallory could find no good reason to obstrigillate this direct order and so he went himself to arrest his friend. By this time, however, he was convinced Josh was not the Phalarae Killer but had clearly been framed.
He found Josh in the kitchen making coffee and filled him in on what had happened and that he had to arrest him. But first they sat down together over a cup of coffee while Josh explained to Mallory where he had been. It seems that a mariturient lady named Judith had set her sights on Josh and was practically stalking him. So he got in the truck and went North to his favorite secret fishing spot to escape her. He was alone the entire time and thus was clearly without an alibi. There was no neighbor to see what day or what time he left. He hadn’t stopped anywhere. It was not looking at all good for him.
After arresting Josh , Mallory turned to the coroner’s report on the latest victim. It seems he had been hit an ossifragant blow with some kind of club, possibly a baseball bat. That was different from the other two. Again the victim was shot and no bullet was found. It was almost certain he was shot somewhere else and dumped in Josh’s living room.
Nothing about this case made any sense. There seemed to be no relationship between the victims. They were all shot and then their bodies dumped in a different location. The killer always left deliberate footprints. And why staple phalares to their heads.? And the most confusing of all why frame Josh? He just couldn’t put the pieces together,
Now he was going to interview this Judith person.
To be continued next Thursday

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel.

The Wedding

The sound of obrumpent balloons fills the air
But none of the happy revelers seem to care
The mariturient lady on their street
Finally an eligible man did meet.
No need now to obstrigillate her charms
To announce her coming with alarms
Her ossifragant brother no more to fear
She had her victim that was clear
They hoped a uxorious husband he’d make
As they danced around the wedding cake

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Idioms with fingers

2009-09-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts

Let me now finger two idioms which prove what lengths I go to for these things.

Cross Your Fingers:

To hope that something happens the way you want it to.

Finger lickin' good:
If something tastes really special it is said to be " Finger Licking Good"

The Magic Frog

2009-09-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Addie looked down at the green garden frog.
She alone knew it was magic. If she had told anyone they might have thought she was crazy but she wasn’t. The frog really was magic. It could and would grant her every wish.
It was just last year that she had deciphered the writings on the old stone , her being an archeologist by profession. It had lead her to canoe down a peaceful Canadian river in the far North of Canada watching for that special landmark. There deep in the woods she found the shrine of the Wood Nymph and the frog. How many centuries it had been there she had no idea. Who put it there was much clearer. A group of Celts had somehow made it to Canada centuries ago. They possessed all the powers of the ancient Celtic religion and had infused them into the shrine and the frog. Of this she had no doubt.
And now the frog was hers.
Last night she had dined in the most expensive restaurant in New York City. The desert was unbelievable. The rich certainly lived well. But she had enjoyed the looked on the waiter’s face even more as he brought the bill and she slowly disappeared before him. He would have an interesting story to tell. The frog could be fun.
She even had pictures. When she went out West to the rodeo she had a nice tourist take her picture with a cactus. That and the picture she took of the rodeo was evidence of what the frog could do.

She supposed she should use it for good. She should feed the poor or something like that. But how great was its power? How much could it do? Then there was the warning on the stone that payment would be due. What kind of payment and when would it be collected? She really couldn’t answer these questions.
So she stopped using the frog. She had all that power and was afraid to use it. The frog was no longer fun.
So if your going along a nice street and see an old lady taking to a big green garden frog she’s not crazy she’s just scared. Grab the frog and run. But remember there is a payment due.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 81

2009-09-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: dangerous, engine, sullenly, bespoke, evergreen, bauble, medicine, freight, destined, tinsel

And for the mini: carbon, feelers, outright, ballet, fizzing

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 felt important in his new bespoke suit and fancy New York office . He was playing the part of a CEO of a new company that was manufacturing an engine that ran on evergreen needles but produced no carbon dioxide emissions. According to the company brochure the engine was destined outright to replace gas engines, the source of dangerous C02.
It was not all wonderful, however, as part of his cover last night Agent 012 had to go to the Tinsel Town Ballet and hated every minute of it. Afterward he took the usual fizzing medicine for his headache but it didn’t live up to its slogan “ Pop Pop Fizz Fizz Oh what a relief it is”. This morning he still had a headache as he read the E-mail from Jeffery Feelers who was asking for a prototype of the new engine to be sent to him by freight. This would be difficult since the engine didn’t exist.
Across town a man commented sullenly to himself and played with the baubles on his wrist bracelet, one for each CEO he had killed. He was planning his next killing and the target was Agent 012.
Could this be the end of Agent 012?
Will this be his last horrible day?

The ten word challenge- The Accident

Sullenly Carlo Bespoke prepared to go into court. His lawyer told him to lighten up, smile at the judge and stick to his story that hitting the prize evergreen was an accident. He was sorry the neighbor was so upset he needed expensive medicine to calm down. He had offered to pay for the tree and the freight to have a new one shipped in. He knew that the tree was destined to be the center of the neighbor’s Christmas yard display and would have been covered by baubles and tinsel. He felt really bad about that, but his engine had been damaged as well and the repairs were expensive.
His neighbor said that Carlo was a dangerous man and should be punished to the full extent of the law.
The judge ordered Carlo to pay restitution and court costs but felt he was repentant and truly sorry so that was punishment enough.
Carlo fingered the baubles on his wrist bracelet and thanked the judge.

The mini challenge-CEO Killer

Last night he had gone to the ballet. It was a superb blending of traditional ballet and today’s science fiction. He loved the fizzing noises in the background as they added so much to the futuristic feeling. When those alien feelers dropped from above he knew it was outright perfect. But he had to remember that it was not the ballet but his latest target he had gone to watch. If this CEO was to become one of his baubles then he needed to know all that he could about him. Then he would decided how to kill him. He could put carbon monoxide in the ventilation system. That was quick and easy but no fun at all. He really liked to see them die.
If he didn’t have to go to court earlier today the job might already be done. There , of course, was no rush as he only had to please himself. He quit being a killer for hire years ago.
He just hated CEOs. He was doing the world a favor by getting rid of them.
He made his living now as a lawyer defending idiots like that Carlos fellow who had deliberately smashed his neighbor’s prize tree.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

A Foul Story

2009-09-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Foul Story

The place was filled with foul language.

It hurt his very very sensitive ears.

He really didn't want to be there but his best friend had asked him as a personal favor.

So here he was listening to the foul language and being egged on.

But then what else would you expect

chickens to speak?

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty third chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

The Wizard Moreless waved his hand over the Snail.
There was puff of smoke.
Where the snail had been there was now a horse.
Not a frog, not a giraffe, not a snail but a horse.
It even looked like a horse.
The only problem was that this real horse was only six inches high.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly's Trophaeal Words

2009-09-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:
quibbleism; obrumpent; & temeration

Detective Clint Mallory , was obrumpent with joy that the body was not that of his good friend Josh even though it had been found in the living room of Josh’s house. Slowly, however that joy turned to fear and sadness as he studied the crime scene. First one of the deputies found a box of phalaraes hidden in a back closet under a pile of other boxes. Mallory was almost certain those were the stolen phalaraes but he still needed the museum to examine them and confirm that they were indeed the ones. Then they found the muddy boots in the basement that matched the footprints coming and going from the house. He had little doubt they would also match the stibograms from the other murders. There was no sign of forced entry into the house. It was beginning to look like Josh could be the Phalarae killer.
There were things that bothered Detective Mallory. There were no fingerprints on the box of phalares. Why walk out in the boots and then put them back in the basement?
Mallory felt that everything was too neat and tidy and looked to him like a frame up. The DA , however, was sure they had enough evidence and told Mallory to stop his quibbleism and go arrest the man.
So Mallory sent detectives out to find Josh who seemed to have just disappeared. They brought in the state police tracking dogs but they found no trail. His truck was gone.
Poor Mallory sat in his office and remembered promising Josh’s mother as she was dying that he would watch over Josh. He was afraid the temeration of those promises was at hand.

To be continued next Thursday.

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.
In other words if it contains Quilly's words and looks like a really bad poem it is really good Quivel.

Broken Vows

Temerations are such sad things
Crying through the valley rings
People once obrumpent with pride
Now just sat as their love died
Quibbleism used to hide it all
They pretend there is no fall.
A phalarae was made for them
Wilted flower on crooked stem
Hitonious has been their fate
Their life now was viliorate

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Colorful Idioms

2009-09-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts A Thousand Words In Idioms

Here are two colorful idioms

Red Tape

the filling out of seemingly unnecessary paperwork, obtaining of unnecessary licenses, having multiple people or committees approve a decision and various low-level rules that make conducting one's affairs slower, more difficult, or both.

Seeing Red

to become very angry When he laughed in my face, I just saw red.

Raven's Challenge 80

2009-09-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: Charitable, alligator, tribute, drunk, slave, preparation, carrots, mountainside, propeller, lark
For the mini challenge: chisel, worship, suicide, organic, plus

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

In tribute to his recent unbelievable attack on the very heart of Mute Agent 012 was enjoying two days off. Enjoying is not exactly the right word for it.
His wife , still upset over the neighbor’s new fence, kept dreaming up horrible things that were going on behind the fence.
“Wonder ?” she said “ If they were feeding slaves to alligators. How would we know?”
“ You would hear them screaming and all I hear is the sound of a Lark.” He replied.
“ Dad?” His youngest asked “ Why does the propeller on my beanie only turn in one direction and why doesn’t it lift me off the ground?”
“Gears and gravity” Agent 012 answered putting down the chisel he was using trying to get a brick out of the garden wall in preparation for the new brick he wanted to replace it with.
“Dad did you know that Bees were the first suicide bombers. When they sting you they die.” His older son pointed out.
And on an on it went. Inside his head he was screaming so he was happy when his wife sent him to the Mountainside Plus Market to get some organic carrots.
But on the way he was stopped by a group representing The Great Circle of Light Church trying to raise money for a new worship center. He didn’t feel the least bit charitable not even when they told him how many drunks they had saved that month. So they got nothing from him but a very large frown.
His day continued so that on the way home he was almost run over by a truck carrying a load of telephone poles to his neighbor.
Perhaps, tomorrow would be a better day.

The ten word challenge- The Greatest Hunter

Biscay Samson Loomer, or BS Loomer as he was often called, was one of the world’s greatest hunters. He had captured alligators in Florida, goats on the mountainside of Peru, and even the Rainbow Lark , world’s rarest bird. He thought then that he was the freest of men but he had since come to realize that he was a slave to the big money interests. For them he had stuck those poor animals into cages called Zoos not to protect them from extinction but so the men could sell stupid beanies with propellers on top and other junk to the people who came to stare.
It was not long after he came to this realization that he formed a charitable organization dedicated to setting animals free. The organization built a half way house for animals where they could be taken in preparation for being released back into then wild. It is a tribute to that preparation that the releases went as well as they did.
What upset people was how he got the animals to release. It was rumored but never proven that he would throw a big party and get the Zoo staff drunk then using drugged meat and carrots he put the animals to sleep and took them away. In the morning the Zoo was empty and the staff had a terrific hangover. Nobody ever saw him st the party. Nobody ever saw his trucks take the animals away. The little tracker chips they had on some of the animal just ceased to work. The animals vanished. He was after all one of the world’s greatest hunters.

The mini challenge-Obama on Mt. Rushmore

It is the year 2087 and almost all historians are in agreement that Obama was one of the five greatest presidents the country ever had. So great was his impact that after his untimely death there were those who believed he would return and started the Church of the Return where they spent time in the worship of him who changed America.
Every year true believers commit suicide on his grave which is supposed to hasten his return.
But I’m not a believer . In fact at this moment I hate the guy and his big ears. You see it’s my job to chisel his image on Mt. Rushmore. He is being added to the other four great Presidents.
At first I was really happy. To be picked was an honor plus the pay was great. That all organic stuff my wife eats doesn’t come cheap you know.
Things were going really well. It really was beginning to look like him. We had chiseled away a lot of rock when we hit that really hard stuff just below one of his big ears. I decided to use a little dynamite to remove it. Just a little, mind you, not very much.
The explosion went off and there went an ear. Obama’s big ear tumbling down the mountain. I’m ruined. There is no way to repair this. You can’t super glue back a rock ear that size.
I hate the guy.
I just hate the guy.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

squirm

2009-09-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Real Cad

He was not a nice man.

He loved to see people squirm.
He really did.
He made smart remarks.

He courted real ladies.
He lead them on.

They thought he really loved them.

Then he broke their hearts.

The big town clock fell on him.

Which proves the old saying.

Time wounds all heels.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty second chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot loved his giraffe and considered looking for another Kingdom.
He heard King Arthur was hiring at Camelot.
But he felt sorry for Underwear who didn't have many knights left at his table.
Thus Wizard Moreless spent all night trying to bring back a horse but now had a giant snail by the tail.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Quilly's Fantastic Words

2009-09-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition:
ponask; stiricide; & ruricolous

Detective Mallory now knew what the last phalerae meant. The one that was stapled to the head of the banker. A Roman soldier who took more than his fair share of the loot was forced to wear it. He would then be shunned by the other soldiers and often simply end up dead. Somebody saw our banker as a crook.
Mallory was not so lucky on trying to find out who had purchased the phalaraes. It seems a large crate of phalaraes on the way to the museum had just disappeared. There was no real market for them so the director had assumed they would show up in a day or two. But they hadn’t. It looked like the Phalarae Killer was also a Phalarae Robber.
If Mallory could solve one crime he would probably solve the other.
Mallory was in his office looking at the pictures and stibograms on what he called his crime board trying to see some clue that had escaped his attention when the call came. There had been another murder , this one out at the Josh Brannigan place. As he got in his car he hoped it wasn’t Josh. Josh was one of Mallory’s oldest friends. He and Josh often hunted together and just last fall they had ponasked some partridge in Josh‘s back yard. It was Josh who had , despite his hatred for the city , come in and helped Mallory get the ice off his roof because of a stiricide problem. Josh hated the city and loved the ruricolous life and so he lived alone way out in the country. He had no neighbors and was just too trusting a guy. An easy target for some robber .
Arriving at the little house Mallory saw the footprints and he knew before he saw the body what would be stapled to the victim's head. He ordered the usual stibograms made but had no doubt they would match the one’s on the evidence board.
Entering the house he saw the body with the phalarae neatly stapled to it’s forehead. But by some miracle it wasn’t Josh. Mallory could have shouted it out . It wasn’t Josh.
To be continued next Thursday.

And of course with Quilly's words comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.

The Good Life

Ruricolous life good for a retreat
Not a style one wants to repeat
Who would ponask a bird
Some strange country nerd.
Give me the city life
With all of its inherent strife.
I’ll order my bird from KFC
Like stiricide you can’t stop me.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Handy Idioms

2009-09-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts A Thousand Words In Idioms.

Here are two very handy idioms.

Hand to mouth

Someone who's living from hand to mouth, is very poor and needs the little money they have coming in to cover their expenses.

Hand in glove

If people are hand in glove, they have an extremely close relationship.

THorton Needs Help

2009-09-08T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

Thorton P Biapple III was sure he was going to die. He had not planned on dying. He just wanted to clear his head so he had taken the canoe and headed up to the lake.
He knew he should have waited and gotten some help but he really wanted to be alone. He had ported that canoe much further in the past, by himself, without any trouble. Of course he didn’t know this lake or this path but it didn’t look long on the map. Everything would have been fine if he hadn’t tripped on that cussed squirrel.
Animals were supposed to be your friend . They weren’t supposed to trip you. And a squirrel when he had given them all those nuts over the years. This is the way they say thanks.
As he lay under the canoe he knew from the pain his leg was broken, maybe both legs. He was going to die there. He just knew it. From where he lay he could see two beautiful flowers
and they seemed to add to his pain. Maybe an arm was broken too and possibly his back.
He knew he was beginning to hallucinate because he could smell peanut butter cookies cooking.
Peanut butter cookies out here on a path who would cook peanut butter cookies?
He strained his neck as far to the left as he could but all he saw was the sky. He wondered if the clouds indicated an approaching storm.
He could end up being drowned. With his broken legs, arm and back he could never escape the water.
Now he trained his neck to the right and what he saw assured him he was hallucinating . There as big as life and as if it was real was sign that said Worms.
Worms , a sign for worms on a wilderness trail. It just didn’t happen. He knew it didn’t. What next? A dragon coming to eat him? A black hole in space? Black Adam saying shazam?
Suddenly a voice cut through it all.” Thorton quit fooling around and get the camping display up. Get out from under that canoe. If you father didn’t own Biapples Sports Kingdom I’d fire you.”
The evil Dr. Silvania had found him and was making him stand on his broken legs and work with his broken arm. It was a cruel world indeed.

The dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Raven's Challenge 80

2009-09-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be:Spam, perpetual motion, sprinkle, telephone pole, stains, alphabetical, surgery, flattery, liberty, preservation
For the mini challenge:shadows, singularity, Florida, caterpillars, copy

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Knowing now that he would never be rescued Thaw poured out all he knew about Mute to Agent 012. It seemed he knew a great deal as he had been in the shadows of the great crime group for a long time. The information had allowed the Agency to virtually close down Mute operations in Florida and sent hundreds of Mute agents to jail. They were able to prevent the Mute created poison caterpillars from being placed in the nation’s apple orchards. It was one of the greatest triumphs of the Agency ever and all because of Agent 012.
At the main office everybody was telling him how well he had done but flattery made him nervous. He was much more used to being cussed out. For the next few weeks he seemed to be in perpetual motion as he sent out teams to follow up leads and carry them to their natural conclusions. The raids were carried out with the precision of a great Doctor doing surgery.
He arranged for Thaw to give up his liberty in a federal court in Nebraska where there was no Mute office. Thaw pleaded guilty there and was sent to prison under a different name. For the sake of Thaw’s self preservation Agent 012 had to hope Mute never found out where he was.
Agent 012 did sprinkle in a visit or two to his home. He had a Spam and eggs breakfast with the family. His wife made the greatest Spam and eggs.
At the office he had all the information from Thaw on alphabetical cards and he put a big check mark on the card when the information had been followed up. Within a week over half the cards were checked. Once a card was checked a copy was made , attached to a full report and sent to the chief. You would think the chief would be happy but he complained because some of the copies had brown stains. The Agency really needed a new copy machine.
The only thing that still bothered Agent 012 was that Mute was planning a big thrust called Project Singularity and Thaw only knew it was being planned and had something to do with telephone poles.
But it had been Agent 012’s couple of weeks and he tried to enjoy what had been done.

The ten word challenge- He Could Do It

Hessa Newman believed a perpetual motion machine could be created. But he did more than believe . He tried to create the machine. His office was filled with alphabetical data cards with each idea he had for the machine clearly outlined. The ones he had tried usually were dotted with sweat stains. His great wealth gave him the liberty he needed for experimentation as he didn’t need to work to live. He had been slowed down as he recovered from the surgery to reattach his big toe that he severed in that stupid accident.
On this day as he finished his noon meal of Spam sprinkled with Tabasco sauce he was sure his latest attempt would succeed .He looked at the huge pile of old telephone poles and at his card. The secret was in the preservation of the pole and he held that secret in his hand. He had used flattery to get it from a secretary at the Telephone Office.
Now he only needed a small piece but it was important he not drop the poles on him. He just didn’t have time for more surgery.

The mini challenge-At Last

The singularity was obvious first in Florida. There perpetual motion came out of the shadows and the new revolution began.
They had laughed at Newman and his ideas. Crazy old coot they called him. He made good copy for the evening paper. They laughed at him and said he would be better off growing caterpillars.
Nobody was laughing now. He had made the impossible possible. His machines ran everything. They were the engines in cars and no gas needed. They were a source of constant renewable energy.
Thanks to Hessa nothing would ever be the same again, a true singularity.
“He’s coming out of it Doctor.” Hessa heard the nurse say.
“ Well old man for a bit there we thought those telephone poles had done you in”

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Bad Spell-ing

2009-09-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

The Bad Spell-ER

He was just not good at spelling.
He came in last at the school spell down every year for six years.
That is he sat down first.
He tried the Spell-ing Bee with the same result.

It didn't look good for him.

He needed to be able to spell in order to be a

Wizard.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twenty first chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Sir Laughsalot had finally mastered the art of giraffe riding and was happy with his new steed. It was faster than any horse ever could be,
But Good King Underwear was upset. He did not want his knights riding giraffes.
If Sir Lsaughsalot wanted to stay a Knight he had to get a real horse.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Those Wondeful Quilly Words

2009-09-03T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly Click on the word for a definition: oporopolist; phalerae; & stibogram

Detective Clint Mallory studied the stibograms , made at the crime scene , and now posted on the “ thinking board” at the office. They clearly started at the oporopolist ‘s stand , went through the back yard, continued into the house up to the body of Judge Woodrow Hangum , and then out the back door and across the lawn. The stibograms were almost the only clues they had. They were too neat ,too well made. It’s as if the killer wanted the footprints seen.
There were no fingerprints, the bullet had passed through the judge and they hadn’t found it. There was so little blood that the coroner , old Doc Brown , thought the judge might have been killed somewhere else and dumped in his living room. That made the footprints even more mysterious.
Then there was the phalarae the killer stapled to the head of the judge. The detective had to wonder if the five headed thing depicted on it had some kind of significance.
Clint pondered all of that while asking himself why anybody would want to kill Judge Woody, as he was referred to at the Courthouse. The only people that were upset with him were law enforcement people since contrary to his name he gave out the most lenient sentences of any of the three judges. Criminals and their lawyers breathed a sigh of relief when assigned to his court. Surely , law enforcement wouldn’t do this.
Just then the phone rang. It was Clint’s friend from the musuem. Clint had given him a picture of the phalarae stapled to the head of the judge , in the hope he might be able to explain the five headed thing depicted there. And now he did have an explanation. The five headed thing was a minor Roman God, the God of cowards. The phalarae was given to a Roman soldier who failed in battle just before his commander ran him through with a sword.
Did this mean that somebody killed Judge Hangum because he was a coward?

AS Clint pondered all of this his commander announced there had been another murder. This one of the Bank President Rupert R. Rich. He was found dead, shot , in his office just a few minutes ago. Clint hurried to the crime scene. He had stibograms made of the bloody footprints leading up to and away from the body. He felt sure they would match the muddy footprints from the last murder. The bullet had gone clean through, not much blood. It was like a repeat including stapled to the victim’s head another phalarae. This was different from the last and he would send a picture to his friend as soon as possible.

Clint hated this kind of case. The paper was already calling the murders the work of the phalarae killer and demanding the police solve the case and protect the unstapled public. This never helped but it did sell papers. There should be some kind of phalarae that could be stapled to the behind of the reporter that came up with the term “ unstapled public”. Now the TV reporter was using the term phalarae killer . When will they ever learn ?
But Clint’s job was to protect even those idiots and so he started with the one clue he had. He called his friend at the museum and asked where one could get authentic phalaraes.

(To be continued next Thursday}

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

More Idioms

2009-09-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts A Thousand Words In Idioms.


A little bird told me: If someone doesn't want to say where they got some information from, they can say that a little bird told them.
I used this idiom a lot when my kids were growing up.

Put a sock in it.
If someone tells you to put a sock in it, they are telling you to shut up.

Raven's Challenge 79

2009-08-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: records, impulsive, really cool, bread crumbs, angels, Sponge Bob, magical moment, back and forth, suffering, good fences make good neighbors
For the mini challenge: side effects are generally mild, clingy, rooster, samples, curiosity

The Mega Challenge as
The Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012

Agent 012 discovered, as he had suspected , that there was mix up in the school records and after some back and forth discussion with the school registrar he got his son transferred from Fashion Creation to Wood shop. His son , who had been suffering from just the thought of a semester of dress making thought it was really cool the way his dad fixed things.
His wife, however, was very upset because their new neighbor was building a fence around his property. “ Remember dear, good fences make good neighbors” he reminded her.
“But this one is ten feet high and a real eyesore” she replied.” Don’t you have any curiosity as to why such a tall fence?”
“Nah! Maybe he’s going to raise roosters or something and doesn’t want us to know. Or he could have a clingy wife that embarrasses him.” Agent 012 suggested.
“ Are you insinuating that I’m clingy “ she grouched.
He took her hand in one of those magical moments, looked her in the eye and said “ I’m not building any fences.”
Unfortunately that was when the Agency called and summoned him to the office. The worst part is he knew just what they wanted. How was Mute finding Thaw. It was as if there was a trail of bread crumbs to the safe house. On the way in the answer came to him. Being impulsive he stopped at headquarters picked up some equipment and a Doctor.
Arriving at the safe house he turned on the equipment and sure enough there was a signal coming from the room in which they were holding Thaw. Entering the room he found the signal coming from Thaw’s backside. In fact it was coming from the Sponge Bob tattoo that was just below the two angels tattoo. The Doctor was called in and asked to remove the chip surgically. He administered a local anesthesia of which he assured Thaw that the side effects are generally mild and proceeded to remove the chip.
That chip now had a number of important uses. It could be compared with samples of other chips and the maker could be determined. It could be used to lead more Mute Agents into a trap.
This has really been 012’s day.

The ten word challenge- The Fence

Robert Angels who was nicknamed Sponge Bob had decided to build a fence around his yard. After all he kept reminding himself good fences make good neighbors. He was tired of his neighbor’s beer cans and other garbage ending up in his yard. His suffering had started the first day the new neighbor moved in and had gone on for a year now. He and the neighbor had gone back and forth over the problem with the neighbor always promising to change but never keeping his promise. He was not an impulsive man and the fence was a carefully reasoned out decision. He calculated that it was cheaper to build and eight foot high fence than to take his neighbor to court and he was probably right, lawyers don’t come cheap. He had even checked at the Hall of Records to be sure he knew exactly where his property line was.
So on a really cool Fall day the fence was started. It was almost a magical moment. He felt like a bird finding an unbelievable amount of bread crumbs or a squirrel discovering enough nuts to last the winter. He saw it as a turning point in his life.

The mini challenge-Brothers

Fredrick wondered if it was legal for him to paint a rooster on his side of the fence that separated him from his neighbor. He had never liked that fence and wanted to make it less harsh to look at. Perhaps, he thought, I can get some of those big plastic clingy rooster things and stick them on the fence. Then I can pull them off the fence if he complains. His neighbor was always complaining. Prior to building the fence he had complained about beer cans and a few small things that somehow ended up rolling into his yard. Now he was complaining about the noise.
All of this had given him a real migraine headache and his Doctor had given him some samples of a new drug . It said right on the bottle that the side effects are generally mild but now he had this rash all over his body. Indeed he was suffering the pain of a thousand points of itch. He called the Doctor and asked” Doc, just in curiosity, is a whole body rash a mild side effect?”.
The Doctor said that it sounded more like Poison Ivy but he’d have to come into the office to be sure.
At this point Fredrick Angels really wanted to tell his brother Robert about his misery. But since the fence they really hadn’t talked.
This was clearly not a magic moment.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Flash Away

2009-08-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

There was no doubt of that

He carried the little card that said he was a flasher.

He had been a flasher since 2003.
But you can't go around flashing in polite society.

They would throw the book at him.

The police caught him in the very act of flashing

a chimney.

Since I discovered it was okay I am writing a second flash 55 which will be a continuous story but a complete story every week. Here then is the twentieth chapter in the exciting ongoing adventures of Sir Laughsalot and Robberhood
The entire story to date is HERE
The most recent chapters are HERE

Finding the incompetent Wizard Moreless Sir Laughsalot asked him to change his ugly frog back into a horse.
The wizard waved his hands and spoke some Latin words.
There was a puff of smoke.
Thus the frog became a giraffe, a very tall giraffe.
Sir Laughsalot sent his Squire for a saddle and a ladder.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Poor Dalton

2009-08-27T01:00:00.000-07:00

It is a Quilly day. Time to take Quilly’s three words for the day and write a story.Today we have three words from Quilly and one from the Fortress Word Vault. Click on the word for a definition: ambition; pessundate & operiment plus one other amarulence

Dalton Soakum was not a man of great ambition. He didn’t want to get filthy rich he just wanted to make what he considered a reasonable living off the buildings he owned. He didn’t feel up to having them repaired so he charged low rents. He thought of this as a nice thing to do. So a faucet didn’t work here or there and some toilets didn’t flush. So some of the heating systems barely gave heat. So a little plaster was falling down. So there were a few rats. What did they expect for the prices he charged ? Penthouses?
Everything was going well until the editor of the Daily Globe started his crusade. Now people looked at him like some sort of villain and even worse some tenants were withholding their rent until improvements were made. He could pay off building inspectors but not judges. Even some of his building inspectors had told him they might have to make a real inspection under pressure from the Globe.
His lawyers had tried to put an operiment on the articles but they had no success. If the articles continued they would pessundate his entire kingdom.
So it was with great amarulence he sat late at night working on a bomb.
If he hadn’t been such a hitonious shot the editor would be dead. Life would be mellifluous just as it was before the articles.
But after tonight there would be no Globe. Just the idea of no Globe filled his head with ebullient thoughts. There would be no paladin riding in at the last minute to save the paper. And if he was lucky the intransigent editor would be in the office when the bomb went off. The editor so deserved to die because of his opprobrious conduct toward poor Dalton. The editor’s prolix on Dalton was unforgivable. He was going to pay.
At the thought of this Dalton smashed his hand down on the table in glee.
The last thing he saw was the bomb falling toward the floor. Then Dalton and his house were no more.
Just another mystery the incompetent police chief would never solve.

&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

And of course with Quilly's words , even watered down, comes the required quivel.
There is poetry which a few people do well.
Then there is poetic drivel which is more fun and has its own experts.
But below them all is Quivel
Remember to write quivel you must write something that looks like a poem, any style , but is so bad that if it was printed in a book of poetry a true poetic zoilist would tear it out and burn it.

Pity Poor Quilly

Our Quilly has no backbone
For when they began to groan
She put an operiment on her words
Dumbed them down for the nerds
Their amarulence scared her off
Couldn’t stand to hear them scoff
She pessundated her operation
Now hard words she has to ration
No ambition to face their whine
Gives no pearls to such swine.
Saving old words no more a goal
Gives words from cradle role.

Of course the dragons were busy today you can see them HERE.

Idioms

2009-08-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Thousand Words In Idioms

Jientje at Heaven is in Belgium, hosts A Thousand Words In Idioms.

My first try

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water

If you get rid of useful things when discarding inessential things, you throw the baby out with the bath water.

Third rail

The third rail of something is dangerous to alter or change. Originally, the third rail is the one carrying the electricity for a train.

The Dream

2009-08-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

A Picture Story from Portrait of Words

He had taken the bus from Neenah to Laona, Wisconsin just to ride a genuine steam engine. There weren’t many of those left. This one operated from a fancy station and was called the Lumberjack Special. It hauled people ten miles to a museum filled with memories of the day when logging was king.
For a long time he just stood and looked at that magnificent black beauty. He watched the smoke and listened to the sounds that only a steam engine makes.

But then the special moment came. He climbed up into the cab. Today he would drive this wonder. Today he would fulfill his dreams.
Some people dreamed of riding in rotating restaurants high in the sky. Some people dreamed of being in a submarine deep in the ocean.

He dreamed of being the engineer as the train rattled over one railroad bridge after another. It was going to be heaven.
His friend , who worked for the society that kept up this railroad had made the arrangements. In return he made a nice contribution to the society. It all worked out. He got to be the Engineer and they got to pay the bills.
Then he started the train in motion. None of the paying passengers knew they had a rank amateur at the controls. That was fine. His friend sat next to him to make sure he didn’t make any mistakes but he had prepared long and hard for this day.
As they left the station he blew the whistle. A little bunny standing by the track had heard it so many times it didn’t even jump.
Too soon they reached the old logging camp and his moment of glory was over. But he would remember it forever. He knew that as he drove the school bus, his regular job, he would pretend it was the engine all black and shiny. The kids would never know what they were riding in.